Horror Headlines: Tuesday, July 25th, 2012
"The Warren Files" is a new 4 hour documentary of people reading facebook posts about actor Warren Beatty. Iit's being directed by "Insidious" love child James Wan and has just received a release date of January 25, 2013. Wait no, I'm sorry. That's completely wrong. It's about some sort of haunted Rhode Island farmhouse or something. I have no idea where the Warren Beatty thing came from.
I'm so jacked up on coffee and Swedish Fish right now that I can't even see straight, but I think "Dragon Wasps" is going to be the next "Avatar". It's coming to DVD on September 24th. It's about giant freakin' wasps that fly around the freakin' rainforest killing people. I hope they make a sequel where they fly around the Rainforest Cafe. That would be so god damn awesome.
We all love the 1985 classic "Re-Animator." If you don't, you're some kind of prick face or something. Prick faces don't get to enjoy the new exciting Blu-Ray version of the flick that will hit shelves on September 4. They also wont get to view the documentary being included, or the interviews, or listen to the audio commentary. They will also not be invited to my annual BBQ and POG trading jamboree this year. Sucks to be you, prick faces.
Something called "Bloody Bloody Bible Camp" is going to be hitting VOD, iTunes, Amazon and smoke signals this Friday. I don't think I really need to explain anything else.
Bjork wore some sort of weird worm dress. That's not the news here. The news is that people still show up to hear Bjork sing.
Here's a fun story about a guy in Oregon being arrested for breaking into a number of local homes, looking up porn on the internet, and going to town on himself. Normally I'd go ahead and say the guy is guilty, but if we're being honest with each other, I've used this excuse more times than I can count when I forget to clear my computer's browsing history.