Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 1st, 2011

Sir Kevin Smith plans on trimming about 10 minutes of film from "Red State" before he hits the road on March 5th to screen the film to select audiences. With ticket prices for the screenings running anything from $50 to $125 I'm going to go ahead and say I don't give a crap how bad the movie is you leave in every freakin second of it before it turns out people are paying 100 bucks for a crappy 12 minute opus.

Wait a second isn't there already a remake of "Mother's Day" coming out"? What the hell is "Father's Day"? Where did this teaser come from? Who are these people? What are you doing Troma? Father get raped in this movie? What the hell is going on!? Where am I?

Good news everyone in Chicago, "Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong" will premier there on 4/20 (get it!?) and will feature "Sniff-O-Rama". What that pretty much means is the good people from Full Moon will give out a bunch of scratch-n-sniff cards when you go to see the movie and you can pretend like you're in the movie. I'm just guessing here but I'm thinking 95% of the cards will smell like weed.

What's got two thumbs and is only 85% sarcastic about being excited for "The Roommate" this Friday? This guy! Try not being fired up after checking out the 3 news clips from the movie that have hit the tubes. Just try you monsters!

In Real People News: 

I've always been grossed out by free samples at grocery stores and here's proof I'm not crazy. A women in New Mexico claims she was given semen instead of the yogurt sample she expected recently at her local market. Apparently she recognized the taste immediately and spit the sample out. There's just too many jokes to be made here that I can't possibly choose one.

And here's a women from Florida who thought she was buying a novelty lighter that turned out to in fact be a real grenade. I had the same thing happen to me in high school when I went to light my smokes and ended up shooting three of the neighbors dogs.

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