The Mortal Instruments

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, March 20th, 2011

I was at work until 1am last night and back up at 7 to come back in. I'm so tired. Here's the news.

"Beautiful Creatures" is a sassy new love story about two young lovers who find out each others dark pasts. It's going to be oozing with delights. Margot Martindale and Zoey Deutch have just been added to the cast. That's the news here. This morning on the bus I blacked out for a few seconds and when I came to I thought the bus had plunged into the Hudson river for a second. It was awesome.

Jake Gyllenhaal is in talks to star in a new thriller currently titled "An Enemy". The film focuses on a man who rents a video that turns out to star himself five years in the past. Wait does that sound real? I seriously can't even see straight so I may have just made that up. It sounds made up.

Don't ask my why but "The Mortal Instruments" sounds like a porno to me. Alright in all honesty 90% of the movie titles I read sound like porno's to me. But this is a big screen adaptation of the book by the same name and it's about a NYC lass who discovers she's a half angel warrior. News today has dropped that Harald Zwart, who directed "The Karate Kid" reboot a couple years back will take up the directing duty. If you're thinking about having kids I'll give you some insight. Kids do not care what time you went to bed. If they want to wake up at 7 you're waking up with them.

Have you ever had a Trenta iced coffee from Starbucks? Trenta is bigger than their large size. It's pretty much a bucket. I've had two so far today. I can hear colors. The crazy ass Japanese flick "Mutant Girls Squad" is finally getting a US Blu-Ray release on may 22nd.

In Real People News: 

An Arizona man is under arrest after he drank a bunch of Four Loko and then peed on a baby. And as soon as my wife reads this there will be a 0% chance that I will ever enjoy a Four Loko.

I can understand this New Jersey woman's anger. She went into 711 and they didn't have any sausage sandwiches available at 4am so she started throwing crap. I also understand why the police would pepper spray her. But seriously, those sausage sandwiches are super good.

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