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Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 13th, 2009

Were you eagerly awaiting a sequel to Tobe Hooper's "Toolbox Murders" remake? Me neither, but they're trying to placate me by throwing Jeffrey Combs, Tony Todd and Lance Henriksen into the mix. Did it work? You can check out the teaser trailer at the site and tell me.

Jaume Balaguero to direct "Flatmate". Balaguero is one half of the duo behind the original Spanish film "[REC]", but little else is known about the project at this time.

Sweet Jesus, a sequel to "The Messengers"? ME NO WANT. If you want, there's a trailer at the link.

Simon Baker to star in "The Killer Inside Me, as a really handsome murderer who kills other handsome people, like Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, and Kate Hudson. It's just so realistic!

Christopher Lloyd has joined the cast of "Piranha 3D". I'm officially going to start having wet dreams about this movie. Stay tuned for details.

The adaptation of Steve Niles "Wake the Dead" is delayed because the WETA workshop has to work on "The Hobbit" for Guillermo Del Toro. Jesus, the guy's so freaking busy that now he's delaying other people's projects? Will his reign of pudgy Mexican tyranny ever end? (I kid, I kid)

In Real People News: 

Prostitute bites man's penis off after he tells her he can't pay. I'm no expert at this, but wouldn't you wait until afterwards to tell her you can't pay?

Hawaii, a great place for vacations, honeymoons, and apparently, flesh-eating bacteria. I'm guessing that won't be in the brochure, though.

On this day in history: 

1913: The latest brainchild of Russian aircraft design genius Igor Sikorsky embarks on its maiden flight. The Grand, easily the world's most luxurious passenger plane, includes such innovations as upholstered seats, a balcony, and even a lavatory.

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