10 Culinary Killers
You all know what time of year it is. It's that time of year when you gather with your seldom seen relatives, eat too much, and pass out in front of the TV. It's Thanksgiving time!
Sure, Football is on every year but let's face it; The Lions suck and Tony Romo is a douche. So why not watch some movies instead? To fit the spirit of the season, that spirit being 'food', I've thrown together a list of 10 movies that use food as some form of central theme! (Or at least as a nice little disturbing sub plot at the very least.)
So, strap on some sweat pants so you don't get that uncomfortable pain that you get when your belt digs into your overhanging gut and prepare to strap on the feed bag for 10 Culinary Killers!
Happy Birthday to Me
Say what you will about the plot. Say what you will about the actors. No one can deny that dying by having a Kebab shoved through the back of your skull is one of the most iconic and memorable kills of the 80's. It looked like it tasted good too!
Sure, the seven deadly sins may be a stretch for a culinary killer. But who can forget the retina burning set-piece of Gluttony, a man forced to eat himself to death? I know I think of it every time the family wants to eat at Golden Corral.
There is a distinct difference in the quality of this film when watched through 14-year-old eyes and 35-year-old eyes. All the same, corporate packaged alien goo is both deadly and a good weight loss food!
The Gingerdead Man
Gary Busey as a foul mouthed, walking, talking and murdering gingerbread man? Oh yes. That cute little gingerbread man in the "Shrek" movies? He can't hold a flame to Millard Findlemeyer.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Clowns are scary on their own. Make them aliens with gigantic deformed heads, they're even scarier. Arm them with popcorn guns and cotton candy cocoons and you have a recipe for terror!
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Everybody's seen this one right? Giant rolling tomatoes that will eat you up with out a second thought? Right, who cares about that when you have George Clooney in tight jeans and a feathered mullet!
Ice Cream Man
Clint Howard has the face of a serial killer already. Making him a murderous ice cream man is a natural evolution. The truly scary thing about his character here? He still looks more normal that our neighborhood ice cream man.
Beef jerky should be part of the food tree for anybody. Really, it's good stuff. For some extra flavor though, try this southern fried recipe; tourists.
Any version of this movie you want to look at, it all boils down to the same thing. Minced meat pies made out of your neighbor. Throw in a dashing Johnny Depp and some music and you have yourself a movie! Not to mention indigestion.
This little French film borrows a lot from "Sweeney Todd"; i.e. butchering your tenants to sell to your other tenants for stew! This version however will play nicely to your post turkey triptophan induced coma!