Syfy Original

Can't decide on what kind of shitty movie you're in the mood for? Don't know if you want to watch a Syfy Original or a film with a washed up '80's pop star? Having a hard time deciding if Tiffany or Deborah Gibson is a bigger trainwreck? Or do you maybe want to watch a movie with a giant snake, but are also kind of feeling something "Lake Placid"-y?

When us Syfy Original connoisseurs last saw the Mega Shark, it was locked in battle with the dreaded Giant Octopus in 2009's aptly titled "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus". We thought things were over when our band of heros, including Lorenzo Lamas and Tiffany, managed to vanquish both beasts, saving mankind from the Mega Shark's passenger plane eating ways (seriously, look that shit up on Youtube, it's incredible). We thought they were gone. We thought we were safe from ever having to see a movie with "Mega Shark vs." in it's title again.

Turns out we were wrong. Dead wrong.

To me, it really doesn’t get much worse than Syfy Original pictures. Simplistic plots, horrible acting, terrible CGI and scripts that are cranked out in a factory don’t really make for a good movie. While Syfy will occasionally make a gem like “Sharktopus”, the other 95% of their original films are usually bottom of the barrel garbage. Case in point: “Mandrake”.

I’ve been boycotting Sci-Fi Channel, excuse me, Syfy Channel exclusive films for years now. I quickly learned that these films across the board sucked in a way no other films did. Occasionally I’d see a title in a video store and take a chance and go for it, only to be burned time and time again. “Blood Monkey”, “Ice Spiders”, “Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon”, “Raptor Island”, all sounded so stupid, so horribly bad that I thought they’d make for an entertaining watch with some friends and some beer, only to be disappointed time and time again.