Horror Headlines: Friday, May 11th, 2011
Sunday is Mother's Day. You're welcome for the reminder you thoughtless prick.
I've still got Chloe Moretz fever. I say still because I'm pretty sure I've used this joke before and I know you jag-offs at home are keeping score so I wanted to play it safe. The news here though is that Moretz is in talks with Inferno Entertainment to play a zombie in their new film "Maggie". The film follows Maggie's 6 month transformation into a zombie and will be awesome. Unless Dakota Fanning somehow ends up playing the role. That would blow.
You had me at "From the producer of 'The Crow'". That's sarcasm by the way, I don't want you to ever mistake my sarcasm as love for "The Crow". When I was in High School I was on the football team and there was this prick Marty who painted his face like the Crow before a game. I will hate that kid till the day I die for that reason alone. Well his odd passion for country music too but mostly the crow thing. My point is Edward R. Pressman is working on an adaptation of the graphic novel "Feeding Ground".
"'The Raid' WILL EXPLODE IN OVER 280 CINEMAS ACROSS THE UK & IRELAND ON 18 MAY". I don't care how old I get saying something will "explode" will always make me chuckle. Think about it. Ya know... like when a man... NEVERMIND! But the rumors are true, the little movie that could about a lone cop left standing after a drug raid will be hitting selected theaters this month for your viewing pleasure. Unless of course you're in the US. Then you get no pleasure.
The guys who wrote a bunch of those "Not Another..." movies are now writing a spoof of "The Hunger Games" called "The Starving Games". I don't think I can do this anymore.
Here's a story about a group of 6th grade boys down in Mexico that made a gay porn in one of their classrooms. Congratulations Mexico, you're come up with the most disturbing story I've ever read.
A Florida man, I know shocking, decided to stab his computer with a Samurai sword as police raided is house looking for child pornography. Yes there's no way that this will erase anything from his hard drive but you got to admire his style. Ya know, as much as you can admire a guy who's downloading kiddie porn.