Forget Shark Week! Top 10 Shark Horror Movies

Oh boy! It's SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel again! I don't think anyone gets tired of watching humans do stupid things near giant fish with large teeth that want to take a chunk out of their ass. But in case you ARE tired of it, why not try some shark related horror movies?

10) Jaws - Duh. This is a gimmie. You can't have a shark list without the godfather of shark movies. This one put Spielberg on the map, and introduced a technique that many more modern filmmakers have forgotten - sometimes, it's what you DON'T see that's scary.

9) Shark In Venice - There's sharks. In the Venice canals. Actually they're Bulgarian Canals because it was shot in Bulgaria, but the director didn't like the sound of 'Sharks in Bulgaria". With what's regarded as one of the most disjointed, nonsensical and just plain bad plot in a movie ever, you have to see it to believe it. It actual makes more sense if you're hammered as well. It also stares Steven Baldwin. How many damn Baldwins ARE there?

8) Shark Attack 3: Megalodon - Direct to TV goodness, 'top notch effects' and a shark that was supposed to be extinct for millions of years eating people. Now THAT'S a good time!

7) Deep Blue Sea - This one is actually pretty good, and not just because it has Samuel L Jackson. Research scientists trying to solve brain aging issues enhance sharks...and we all knows what happens when you do that.

6) Zombi 2 - Not a shark film, per say, but has the best (and possibly only) zombie versus shark scene ever.

5) Devil's Advocate - Hey, not all shark movies have to be about a fish. Lawyers are just as scary and when they're mentored by the Devil, they're downright horrendous. Playing the Dark Lord himself seems easy for Al Pacino

4) Up from the Depths - Pure 1970s cheese. It's movies like this that made drive in's and alcohol combinations so much fun.

3) Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus - The title alone should be enough to tell you what you're in for with this one. If you're a fan of cheesy or B movies, you can't do much better (worse?) than this. With quality and effects that rival the latest Syfy special, and big game actors like Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson, it's a wonderful way to spend a movie night. Like a fine cheese, this movie stinks, but is an amazing acquired taste.

2) Shark Night 3D - while it's not out yet, don't let the 3D tacked on the end throw you off - it's a twist on the typical 'vacation at the lake gone wrong & everyone gets eaten' plot. This time, the makers of Hostel and The Texas Chainsaw massacre KNOW the water is unsafe...because they put the sharks to create snuff films of people being eaten. Look for this in September.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch shark movies.....

1) Ghost Shark 2 - Sometimes a movie concept is so awesome that you have to make the sequel first -that's right, there is no Ghost Shark 1. It's a shame that this one hasn't been made yet, so all we have of this is magnificent trailer about a ghost shark that escapes its extra-dimensional prison to terrorize the masses! It can swim thru the water in your tub, the ice in your drink, even the steam in your iron! It's Saturday Night Live's Land Shark all over again! This film MUST be made!!!

That Ghoul Eva


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