You too can own the Hitler Barbie!
As I've covered over and over both here and on the podcast, I am not easily offended. I generally like to air on the side of offensive with everything I do in life, so it comes as even more of a surprise that a Ukranian company actually managed to come up with something that offends me.
Now, I don't have problems with a Hitler doll per say. Hey, there are collectors out there for all kinds of weird shit. But when you hear the statements given by the marketing team, you feel yourself transported to some strange alternate universe where what you're hearing can't possibly be true, lest the space time continuum be torn asunder. Here are a few gems from the article I found this in:
"It is like Barbie. Kids can undress fuhrer, pin on medals and there's a spare head in the kit to give him a kinder expression on his face."
Ooooh, that might not be okay, even with the "kinder" expression head. What else you got?
"He has glasses that are round, in the manner of pacifist Jon Lennon".
Wait, what was that now?
"The doll will also come with accessories like a miniature Blondi, Hitler's faithful Alsatian [dog] who died alongside the Nazi in his bunker in Berlin in 1945."
Well, dogs are nice and friendly. Maybe I'm okay with this then. Say, what happens if a lot of people buy these things?
"According to the saleswoman, should the demand be high, manufacturers will go further and launch a series of themed Third Reich toys, including interiors of Hitler's chancellery, toy concentration camps with barbed wire, barracks and operating models of gas chambers and crematoriums."
And there we have it folks, the moment where this "Fuhrer" doll goes from hilarious internet story to incredibly god damn offensive internet story. Concentration camps? Barbed Wire? WORKING GAS CHAMBER? FOR KIDS?
And just to add the cherry on top of this, the article points out that things in the Ukraine may not be so peachy these days:
"The decision to market the figure comes at a time of growing extreme right political sentiment in Ukraine."
"There are also reports of increasing xenophobia and racism, and of some extremists supporting racism similar to that of Nazi Germany under Hitler."
"Critics believe a cult of Hitler could spring up among disaffected youths, too young to remember the ravages Nazism wreaked on the country."
Around three million people died as a result of the Nazi occupation of the Ukraine, including 1.5 million Jews."
To be honest, I don't know anything about the Ukraine other than Kramer once said it was "weak" on an episode of Seinfeld and got attacked on the Subway. Still, it sounds like quite the interesting place to live these days.
That said, Super props to anyone (Shelton, I'm looking at you) who can point me in the direction of an internet store where I can buy one of these things. Hey, I said it was wrong for kids, I never said anything about man-children.