As cartoonish and plotless as the original games that inspired it, 1995’s Mortal Kombat is to most movies what convenience store snacks are to a real meal. But what could be nauseating in excess is fun enough in one go, and in that spirit #TweetWithBGH convened a panel of newbies and old hands to see if this mainstay of so many elementary and middle school memories is worth rewatching in 2016 (and not that we planned it this way, but it was a pretty appropriate lead-in to the X-Files premiere).
Instantly this movie is a hit. That song. THAT SONG. MORTAL KOMBAAAAT!! #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
Am I the only one who hasn't seen this movie before? #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
And is the fact that I've also never played this game going to affect my viewing of the movie? #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
@philliesfemme No but if you've played Vitrual Fighter on the Sega Saturn you'll get almost all the inside jokes here #TweetwithBGH
— Joe (@JoeBGH) January 25, 2016
@EvanSlead @philliesfemme Also, the game actually doesn't have any fighting. It's pretty much Candy Crush 20 years ago. #TweetwithBGH
— Joe (@JoeBGH) January 25, 2016
This club is legit because even if Veronica Vaughn shows up with a machine gun the dancing continues. #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
@EvanSlead You guys don't know what it was like to club in the 90's. It was 75% Swat teams and 25% music. #TweetwithBGH
— Joe (@JoeBGH) January 25, 2016
Boyfriend just turned to me and preemptively said "The boat is great. This is a great boat" #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
Oh, but not THIS boat #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
@philliesfemme He means the boat that transports the fighters to the tournament
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
This boat is kinda Peter Pan, though? Not a criticism, just... unexpected. #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
@GreenSpe @EvanSlead "Such a great boat though, am I right?" - BF #moreboattweets #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
@philliesfemme @GreenSpe It really is a great boat so I get it
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
Literally every second of that special effects show between Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and Raiden is fantastic. "ENOUGH!" #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
@EvanSlead Some of the cinematography/color is surprisingly good #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
@GreenSpe Oh, I mean that part looked awful but it was fantastic in the best way
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
BF is really sad that Raiden (sp?) isn't being played by Thomas Jayne #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
If this movie were made today Katherine Heigl would 100% be cast as Sonia #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
BF would pick Jerry O'Connel as Luke Cage and Gerard Butler as Kano #recast #TweetwithBGH @GreenSpe
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
This lizard looks like they stole him from a 90s gum commercial #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
Fun fact: Sonia was originally cast as Cameron Diaz but she couldn't film after an injury! #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
I would cast Rain as Liu Kang #recast #crush #myfaveninja #TweetwithBGH https://t.co/kUu5XlBiZL pic.twitter.com/0pPnyqi1bt
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
Kano eating a sweaty chicken leg was a very upsetting for me as a child. #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
"Don't diss the boat, Kano! That's how you know he's evil, he didn't like the boat!" -BF #moreboattweets #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
Since this movie is baffling me, I'm going to see how many OTHER pop culture references I can cram into this movie! #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
@philliesfemme wait till they get to the slap bracelet fight #TweetwithBGH
— Joe (@JoeBGH) January 25, 2016
This is quite the experience watching this as an adult and having all of these memories pop back up. #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
I'm picturing @EvanSlead breaking every lamp in his apartment as he too-excitedly swings a broomstick during this sequence #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
This movie was my life at the height of my Tae-Kwon-Do days. #TweetWithBGH #ImABlackBeltThankYouVeryMuch
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
I would have given my left testicle to be Scorpion when this came out. He was the most badass ninja I knew at ten years old. #TweetWithBGH
— Darrin (@dls235) January 25, 2016
This is literally the most violent children's movie ever made. #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
Scorpion and Cage in the orchard (and then Hell?) IS THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE so far #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
Is there a plot I'm supposed to be following or is this just supposed to simulate watching someone else play Mortal Kombat? #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
I admire the gumption of the man who saw Goro beat the shit out of 20+ men and thought, "I could take him" #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
I would club hard to this song, just so everyone knows #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
@GreenSpe I would be right along with you. When we get together we will have a dance party to this. #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
@EvanSlead @GreenSpe BGH DANCE PARTY THIS SUMMER WITH @cc_riots #TweetwithBGH pic.twitter.com/DbKkPSiCja
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
Oops, I haven't been paying attention for.....most of this movie. What's happening? #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
The good thing about this (lack of) plot structure is that no matter what you miss, it's always just two people fighting #TweetWithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
That 90's beat is irresistible, isn't it? #TweetwithBGH
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
This ending song that they used in Mean Girls. It's everything. #TweetWithBGH
— Evan Slead (@EvanSlead) January 25, 2016
AND THEN THE SKY IS PEELED BACK TO REVEAL A GIANT TEN YEAR OLD IN A MALL #TweetWithBGH
— S. G. Cherryhomes (@GreenSpe) January 25, 2016
FLAWLESS VICTORY #TweetWithBGH survived Mortal Kombat!
— Sophie Day (@philliesfemme) January 25, 2016
See you next week for Mortal Kombat: Annihilation! It’s on Netflix! Don’t act like you have anything better to do on a Sunday!