TOPTOBER: Top 5 Sweetest Deaths by Treats in Horror

As a celebration of all things October, BGH asked each of our writers to submit a Top 5 list of their choosing. Stay tuned all throughout October to see what these demented folks come up with!

Few things go together as splendidly as Halloween and sweets. Peanut butter and chocolate, Nougat and cyanide, Fruit filling and a chainsaw, ice cream and a 2x4 with rusty nails hammered through it. You get the idea; these are all pairings that just seem destined for greatness.

It takes a truly demented filmmaker to mix horrific tricks in with the treats. Think back to your childhood, and the excitement you felt at the prospect of getting that bagful of delicious sugary goodness. Now imagine some horrible fate befalling you just as you're savoring the triumph of gorging on that king size Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. That certainly sounds like the true meaning of horror to me.

So, this year, in the spirit of all things spooky, let's look at the top five horror movie characters that got murdered, massacred, obliterated, ganked, offed, rubbed out, and just plain killed in a manner that was tied to some deliciously sweet treat.

Remember kids, always check your candy (because if you trust your parents to do it they'll eat all the good stuff).

Assault on Precinct 13 - Kathy and the Vanilla Twist

Okay, let's get the rough one out of the way. Assault on Precinct 13 came fairly late in my John Carpenter viewing. I'd heard a lot about the film, obviously, but no one seems to ever mention this scene. It's rare for kids to get killed in horror films, and even rarer for it to be done in such an explicit manner. There's just something about the way this scene plays out between Kathy almost getting away but going back because she got the wrong flavor, the nonchalant way that the street hood shoots her, and that stupid regular vanilla ice cream cone standing out against the blood splatter on Kathy's chest before she drops that has made this moment really stick with me.

Remember kids, don't be picky.

Night of the Demons - Grumpy Old Bastard and the Apple Pie

Oh, you grumpy old bastard. So annoyed by those pesky teens that just want to enjoy their Halloween with some mooning and demonic possession. You thought you were going to get the last laugh with those razor blade filled apples, but the trick's on you: kids don't eat apples anyway. That junk was going straight in the trash regardless. Instead, your wife, who's obviously sick of your crap too, decided to put them to good use.

This kill is an odd combination of really disturbing and fist pumpingly satisfying. Grumpy old bastard, you kind of deserved it.

Remember kids, don't get old.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space - All the Humans that Get Turned into Kotton Kandy for Klown Konsumption

The Klowns have ray guns. The ray guns turn people into big cotton candy pods. Then the Klowns suck the human fluid stuff out of the cotton candy pods with bendy straws. If you were a fan of cotton candy and/or clowns before this... well... what was wrong with you???

Remember kids, don't trust clowns.

Trick r Treat - Sam and the Effectively Sharpened Lollipop

There are a few weaponized sweets in Trick r Treat, but Sam's jack-o-lantern lollipop knife is so iconic that I had to go with this one. It's only seen briefly, but we all thought, "Yeah, that'd work" as soon as we saw it.

Remember kids, don't try this at home.

The Stuff - Mustachioed Hipster Madman and The Stuff

It's delicious. It's addictive. It has mind control properties. It can physically attack you. You know you want The Stuff.

This poor guy just wants to be left alone to enjoy some yummy stuff (probably along with some PBR), and he sort of gets his wish when it comes flowing out from under our heroes' bed, where it was laying in wait to attack them, and plasters him against the wall to be smothered in sweet, tasty Stuff. To be fair, that Stuff looks so fluffy that I'd kind of like to have a mattress made out of it myself. The Stuff ends up slaughtering people right and left through the entire film, but this is the Mustachioed Hipster Madman's time to shine.

Remember kids, don't grow mustaches, you'll constantly be getting Stuff stuck in it.