The Countdown to Valentine's Day, T-minus 5 days: Handmade Felt Zombie Candies
Don't worry folks, your Connoisseur of Crap is still here, counting down to this dreaded holiday with you.I know what you've been thinking: "Erin, these gifts are great and all, but how about something a little more homemade?" I totally got'cha! Homemade items come from the heart, and posses way more sentimental value, thus sending your chances at a mattress mambo through the roof! But I also understand it can't be homemade by us, because writing her name in glue and covering it with glitter is about as creative as we get.
The good folks at Etsy have you covered! Check out these cute little handmade zombie candies that come in a real candy box - unless you're dating a real heartless bitch, how could she not love these? Unfortunately, there's a down side: The original item is sold, & Tina Waltke is only human, so if you want her to make a set of these, you probably won't get them in time for valentines day - in which case I suggest a nice dinner with an "IOU" written in a nice card to buy you some time until they arrive. Or keep slipping her roofies until they show up, but you didn't hear that suggested from me.
And of course, make sure you browse the Etsy shop for other great handmade gifts from talented artists if this one doesn't float your boat.... you heartless cur.