Terrible 90's Horror Movies With A-List Casts
Looking through this list, it's hard to imagine that some of the most decorated actors of this generation were at one point slumming it fighting CGI snakes and rogue remote controls, but hey, it was the 90's! Here are some highlights from a simpler time when people thought an amazing cast could distract from poor effects and laughable premises.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
This 1994 exercise in insanity stars Renee Zellweger (who won an oscar for Cold Mountain), and Matthew McConaughey (who won an oscar for Dallas Buyers Club). Despite having a large cast of memorable characters, even Leatherface takes a backseat to McConaughey's absolutely bonkers performance. Let me paint a picture for you, McConaughey has a robot leg that is for some reason controlled via a collection of old TV remotes, our hero (Zellweger) gets a hold of one of these remotes in her attempt to escape. She presses a button which fells McConaughey who begins to scream, and his leg begins kicking similar to a dreaming dog. It is truly a performance which must be seen to be believed.
Species boasts a creature designed by Alien artist H. R. Giger and a cast including: Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker, Michelle Williams, and Marg Helgenberger (CSI). That is an outstanding cast of characters for a film that amounts to a “H. R. Giger thinks sex is weird” movie. The CG does not hold up, and in all likelihood it didn't even hold up in the 90's. The story is awful, and any character you grow even slightly interested in meets a lame death early on.
This giant snake movie feature Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Jon Voight, Owen Wilson, Danny Trejo, and EVEN FRANK WELKER (who is credited as the voice of the Anaconda). What...why...how? The film is a joy to watch because seemingly every moment put to screen is incompetent. Unlike Species however, the CG snake in this movie does hold up rather well, and at times they do utilize practical effects for the creature. It's not all great though. In the film's most baffling scene, Jon Voight pops out of the Anaconda's mouth and proceeds to wink at the camera. Speaking of Voight, he is enacting one of the all time worst accents put to screen. From start to finish it is delightfully awful.
Alien Resurrection (1997)
The final Alien film featuring Sigourney Weaver is a lot of fun to watch, but is in all objective qualities pretty awful. That being said the cast is excellent. Ron Perlman, Winona Ryder, Dan Hedaya, Brad Dourif, and another CSI Alum Gary Dourdan are all prominently featured. Despite having a script written by Joss Whedon, this film has some truly bizzare moments, including the alien queen giving birth in a manner akin to that of a human being. Gross, but not in the fun way.
Why would anyone decide to remake Psycho one of the all time classics of the horror genre? According to director Gus Van Sant he did the deed so that no one else would have to. It's a bizarre reason to make a horrible movie, but hey what do I know? This shot-for-shot remake attemps to follow every element of the film the exact way Hitchcock did, and every single portion of the film feels off. You cannot blame the calibre of the films performers however as the cast includes: Vince Vaughn, Robert Forster, Julianne Moore, Anne Heche, William H. Macy, Viggo Mortensen, James Remar, and Philip Baker Hall. For a movie that only adds a scene of Norman Bates pleasuring himself to the Psycho legacy, they sure did put together an excellent cast.