Retro Trailer: "Elves" (1989)

When most of us think about Christmas, it's only natural that we think of nazi experiments involving elves, am I right? That's right, today we are taking a look back at the 1989 Christmas classic, "Elves." Now try to follow me with this plot: Troubled teen Kirsten and her friends hold a seance ritual in the woods and awaken an elf. Not elves as the movie title suggests. Just. One. Elf. The elf, a creation of nazi genetic experiments, is after Kirsten because she is the key to reviving the "Master Race." So when Kirsten becomes trapped inside the department store where she works, its up to the mall Santa Clause (Dan Haggerty) to save her before the elf can have its way with her. And if you still have any doubts about this one, I will leave you with one final question: Do you want to see a perverted department store Santa killed by a mutant elf who stabs him repeatably in the genitals? That's what I thought.

Carly

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