Horror Headlines: Thursday November 19th, 2009

Submitted by Todd on Thursday, Nov 19th 2009

In case you missed it the first time around, a new feature trailer for Rick Jacobson's B-movie homage "Bitch Slap" has surfaced online. The film's selling point: cleavage. Lots and lots of cleavage.

Fans of the After Dark Horrofest, rejoice! The official website is now live, and packed with all sorts of time-wasting content. Whether or not this latest batch of indie horror is worth your precious time remains to be seen.

Indie director Larry Fessenden has reportedly walked away from New Line's remake of "The Orphanage." Here's hoping this derails the project altogether.

Are you starting to run out of things to do in "Borderlands?" If so, Gearbox has scheduled the release of the downloadable expansion pack "The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned" for November 24th,, which means you'll be able to slaughter mountains of zombies while scarfing plate after plate of Thanksgiving goodies.

In Real People News:

An 82 year-old woman fends off a pair of robbers using a brush, a bible, and her false teeth. In other news, I'm strangely aroused.

In case you were wondering why Kentucky is the greatest state in the country, a Boone County man was arrested for allegedly masturbating to a wrestling video at the local library. Thanks for making me proud.

Newsflash: If your lovely wife attempts to murder you on three separate occasions, perhaps it's time to file for divorce. I'm just saying.

On this day in history:

1703 - The mysterious Man in the Iron Mask, a prisoner of Louis XIV, passes away in captivity. To this day, his identity remains a source of much debate.