Horror Headlines 9/25/08

(Editor's Note: You gotta love that picture above. It's like "Ya I have a bloody nose, and ya something just wickedly exploded behind me... but that doesn't mean I can't be sexy!" You gotta love the dedication.)

Matt Reeves, who directed "Cloverfield" for J.J. Abrams, will be heading up the remake of the Swedish vampire film "Let the Right One in", as both writer and director. The newly incarnated Hammer Films picked up the rights to the film after this year's Tribeca Film Festival, and this is the first news as to who will be helming the remake. Never seen the original but the word "love" is used in the synopsis way too much for me to have faith in the project.

So if I'm to be honest, the idea of an "I Am Legend" prequel sounds pretty garbagey to me. However, it will reportedly center around the last days of humanity in NYC leading up to the events of the first film. That actually sounds decent, although strange since we'll already know pretty much exactly how it will end. The original director Frances Lawrence and star and Will Smith will be returning. No word yet on when to expect the film as it's in the very beginning stages of planning at this point.

I do have to give credit to This Indie film "Scar Crow" for looking like it could be cheesy fun, as well as making me giggle when I read it's name. Although, the plot sounds like a direct rip-off of "Severance" combined with the first episode of "Fear Itself", so you can see how my enthusiasm has waned a bit from reading the initial story.

More stills from "Bitch Slap"!, the Grindhouse-like tale of three women from much different backgrounds who come together in the desert to extort some money from a "ruthless underworld kingpin". Needless to say, things don't go so well, it turns out one of them may be plotting aganist the others, and another one might not even be human! What other kinds of cheeky shenanigans will they be getting into? Check out "Bitch Slap's" official site and find out for yourself.

At least Dario Argento understands how difficult it is to try and remake his films, since no one else seems to. In the interview he mentions that someone is interested in doing a redux of his first real Giallo film, "The Bird With The Crystal Plumage". And don't forget, there's still a remake of "Suspiria" in the making that may or may not star Natalie Portman. It's a wild and weird world we live in folks.

First TV spot for "Quarantine". The flick gets released in two weeks (Oct 10th), and will be the subject of that week's podcast. I'll be checking out the original "[REC]" this weekend, so I should be able to bring a slightly unique perspective compared to the rest of our hosts. Have you seen [REC]? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

New set of stills from "Train", the sort of not really remake of "Terror Train", or as I like to call it; "What has happened to Thora Birch's career since starring in that movie with that bag?"

Guillermo Del Toro to write a trilogy of Vampire books for Harper Collins. You'll recall this is hot on the heels of the news that he's straight booked up as a writer/director until 2017. Theories on how exactly Del Toro has mastered the art of NEVER SLEEPING may be left in the comments.

In Real People News: 

PETA urges Ben & Jerry's to use human breast milk in their ice cream to save cows from cruelty. So glad I decided to eat my cereal while I wrote the news this morning.

I'm not sure how much beer you would have to drink in order to not feel anything when you're impaled on a security fence through your rectum, but I'd venture to say that afterwards it might be time for a little life re-evaluation (on several fronts, mind you). Hilariously disturbing picture at the link!

Pig holds woman hostage in Australia. Isn't this like some sort of bizarro version of "Misery"?

More than half of all Americans think they've been helped by a "Guardian Angel" at some point in their lives. To quote the words of the immortal George Carlin, "if you're going to buy that shit, why not take the Goblin package too?"

On this day in history: 

1980: On the NBC talk show Tomorrow, SNL alumnus Chevy Chase calls actor Cary Grant a "homo." Grant sues, but rumors of his homosexuality follow him for years. Grant was the first person to use the word "gay" in its modern context on film: In "Bringing Up Baby", while in a pink fluffy silk rope he exclaimed "I've just gone gay all of a sudden!"

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