Horror Headlines: Thursday August 11th, 2011
Dermot Mulroney, of Dermot Mulroney fame, is the latest name to be attached to Chan-wook Park's new English language film "Stoker". The movie focuses on a young girl who is mourning the loss of her father and has to deal with a mysterious uncle. Mulroney will play the father. So he may only be in the movie for 10 minutes. Enjoy him while you can.
"The Darkest Hour" is a new film which follows 5 students trapped in Russia during an alien invasion, with sexy results. Alright I don't know about the sexy results part but I do know it's release date has already been pushed. Now before you go getting all worried I should point out that it's only been pushed two days to December 25th, presumably so it doesn't have to face off against "The Adventures of Tintin". So if it sucks they're not messing with Jesus's birthday. Bold move, Hollywood.
Watching porn online is nice and all but there's something really classy about putting in a DVD and watching it on a TV in all it's glory. I assume the same can be said about the web series "Mortal Kombat Legacy" as it will be coming to DVD and Blu-Ray on November 9th. Both versions are full of extra goodness and if you order it online you'll only have to put your pants on when you go get the mail. Or don't. I don't know what kind of agreement you have with your neighbors.
Ridley Scott and his brother Tony have both been confirmed by Activision to be creating exclusive content for their new online juggernaut "Call of Duty: Elite". Details of what they'll be coming up with aren't available yet but if I was a betting man I'd say some sort of storyline. I can't see either of them sitting down and coding or anything. But then again I don't know what kind of hobbies they have. I don't like to assume.
If you're a women and you want to record yourself having sex with six men then by the power invested in me you deserve to do that. But when you start forcing your 6 year old daughter to hold the camera that's when you get on the express train to hell. You're telling me you found 6 guys to be on camera and you couldn't find one more to play director? Just sounds like laziness to me.
And here's a story about a man who accidentally shot his penis off with his girlfriend's pink gun. Because losing your junk isn't embarrassing enough, you need to do it with a pink pea shooter.