Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 3rd, 2011

"We Are What We Are", the remake of a Mexican cannibal family flick, has added none other than Riley Keough to the cast. You might know her better as Elvis Presley's granddaughter. She's also been in a bunch of other movies and is apparently a model. But she'll aways be Elvis Presley's granddaughter that I found out existed 5 minutes ago to me.

Lionsgate has announced they hope to bring a new web series titled "Soul Survivor" to a laptop near you in the not too distant future. The series will focus an last of his kind mercenary who will be voiced by none other than Sylvester Stallone. Sounds kind of weird yes but remember when they made a Rambo cartoon? That was a lot weirder.

The sassy new Aussie flick "Crawl", which will premiere at Cannes, has been given an October release date for selected cities and VOD. The film tells the story of a bar owner who hires a Croatian hitman to murder someone only to have it backfire in his face. I assume there's also a lot of Bloomin Onions involved. Mother of god those things are good.

A handful of new names have been added to the cast list of "Beginning Of the End: The Last Exorcism 2" but honestly no one has ever heard of them so it's kind of silly to list them. So what are your plans for the weekend? Celebrating the Kentucky Derby or Cinco De Mayo? I know you could try doing a joint party but I kind of feel like you need to pick a side. Stand for something in your life god damn it! Kevin Perez, Boyana Balta, Sharice A. Williams and Gideon Hodge are the names.

In Real People News: 

A 19 year old in Pensylvania tried the old "it's not a big deal" excuse with the local cops after he posted pictures of his penis on his girlfriend's website. They didn't buy that excuse. Just an FYI.

A youngster in Florida is in hot water after he was caught on camera robbing an elderly woman at a local mall. How did he get caught? His parents ratted him out. Freakin Florida man. They have no code there.

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