Horror Re-Education: "Bloodsucking Freaks"
I'm now 4 films into my "Horror Re-Education" campaign. This one, "Bloodsucking Freaks", was my selection for a particularly caffeine-fueled Sunday afternoon. Man, I had no idea what I was in for.
"Bloodsucking Freaks" was featured in the 2004 documentary "The 50 Worst Films Ever Made" for a reason. It's super low budget, makes no sense, has NO taste, and at times is rather hard to sit through. I had heard about it for years, and when I saw it was available on Netflix Instant Watch, I knew I had to bite the bullet and check it out.
When you actually sit down to watch this movie, something strange happens. All of those terrible elements, when thrown together, begin form like Voltron into a camp masterpiece the likes of which I have never seen. I'm not saying it's "good", but I am saying that it's sublimely hilarious and disturbing in equal parts. If you do take my recommendation and watch this (assuming you haven't), you'll most l likely hate me for it. I know I'm quite pissed at all the people who told me how amazing it was.
I think it best that you take the journey with me, through the interpretive powers of Twitter:
3:49 PM Apr 26th: My guess would be this is one of those films that's never had a good transfer.
4:04 PM Apr 26th: Haha, the black midget in this movie is amazing. It's like Tattoo had a love-child with Tracy Morgan.
4:06 PM Apr 26th: Just got a closer look. Nevermind. He's more like the midget version of Luis Guzman. Either way equals hilarity.
4:35 PM Apr 26th: @porcelain72 Haha, yup. Ralphus is pretty incredible. I'm glad I'm doing work while watching this though, it is pretty godawful.
4:36 PM Apr 26th: Man... you could get a fucking actress to do anything in the 70's. What ever happened to that?
5:31 PM Apr 26th: Moral of "Bloodsucking Freaks": Never let naked feral women out of their cage. They will put your penis on a hot dog bun and eat it. The end
I think that about says it all, don't you?