Gene Simmons Urinal Cakes

Weren’t we just talking about this? In the wake of the news about the virtual concert lighters for the iPhone, disgust ranged widely. Personally, I was enraged by the very existence of a virtual lighter, while others couldn’t believe the nerve of KISS frontman Gene Simmons, to put the KISS logo on it and have the temerity to charge money for the product.

As if we all didn’t have enough proof of Gene’s inability to say no to a licensing deal, now we have this, as reported on Blabbermouth.

KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons has issued the following update:

"Yep. For all of you who have always wanted to pee on my face!!! Now you can.

"A&E has put 'Gene Simmons Family Jewels' urinal cakes [see photo below] throughout the country, featuring my face on the cakes. They're in most bathrooms. Now, for those of you who need detail = all you need to do is point your tool into the urinal, hit the 'cake' with your flow and don't be surprised if the urinal cake talks back to you!!!

"And please, leave the urinal cake in the pee hole for others to enjoy.

"Reports have come in that some of you have been stealing 'em. If so, kindly remember to wash 'em before you take 'em home."

When I read this, I don’t even think I flinched. I didn’t blink. I didn’t say anything. I might not even have breathed for a few seconds. I understand being a greedy old man who’s addicted to fame and money, but there must at some point be a line or self-respect that can’t be crossed. Or, maybe not.


Live Loud, and Live Dignified.


Music Editor

D.M is the Music Editor for He tries to avoid bands with bodily functions in the name and generally has a keen grasp of what he thinks sounds good and what doesn't. He also really enjoys reading, at least in part, and perhaps not surprisingly, because it's quiet. He's on a mission to convince his wife they need a badger as a household pet. It's not going well.

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