Awful Metal Videos... Or Are They?
It was the posting of a Candlemass video earlier in the week that got me thinking: while on the subject, is "Bewitched" really the worst metal video of all time? Surely, I could come up with some rivals.
So I took a little time when I probably should have been working on something else, and came up with the short list of the following (awesomely) awful metal music videos. Keep in mind, it's easy to make a crappy video. It's easy to make a boring video. It is much more complicated and laced with sheer unadulterated luck to make a video so awfully dated and hokey and foolish as to be memorable. So, without further introduction, here are the finalists:
Things to look for here: general absurdity, fat sack of crap lead singer, high-top sneakers
Dio's "Rainbow in the Dark"
Things to look for: Dio walking around among air conditioner units or whatever those are, Dio pointing to his wrist even though he's not wearing a watch, Dio basically standing idly by while this awkward man plans to abduct this equally awkward woman.
The Scorpions' "Rhythm of Love"
Things to look for: I know this is barely metal, but seriously, what's with the spaceship?
And my personal favorite, Grim Reaper's "Fear No Evil"
Things to look for: THE MAN BEATS BACK EVIL WITH A GUITAR SOLO!
(By the way, honorable mention to Accept's "Balls to the Wall.")
So honestly, vote early for your favorite, and vote often. Also, I'm sure I've left out a few quality entrants. But these are the ones I came up with as candidates for "Most (Awesomely) Awful Metal Video."