Awful Metal Videos... Or Are They?

It was the posting of a Candlemass video earlier in the week that got me thinking: while on the subject, is "Bewitched" really the worst metal video of all time? Surely, I could come up with some rivals.

So I took a little time when I probably should have been working on something else, and came up with the short list of the following (awesomely) awful metal music videos. Keep in mind, it's easy to make a crappy video. It's easy to make a boring video. It is much more complicated and laced with sheer unadulterated luck to make a video so awfully dated and hokey and foolish as to be memorable. So, without further introduction, here are the finalists:

Candlemass' "Bewitched"

Things to look for here: general absurdity, fat sack of crap lead singer, high-top sneakers

Dio's "Rainbow in the Dark"

Things to look for: Dio walking around among air conditioner units or whatever those are, Dio pointing to his wrist even though he's not wearing a watch, Dio basically standing idly by while this awkward man plans to abduct this equally awkward woman.

The Scorpions' "Rhythm of Love"

Things to look for: I know this is barely metal, but seriously, what's with the spaceship?

And my personal favorite, Grim Reaper's "Fear No Evil"


(By the way, honorable mention to Accept's "Balls to the Wall.")

So honestly, vote early for your favorite, and vote often. Also, I'm sure I've left out a few quality entrants. But these are the ones I came up with as candidates for "Most (Awesomely) Awful Metal Video."

Live Loud.


Music Editor

D.M is the Music Editor for He tries to avoid bands with bodily functions in the name and generally has a keen grasp of what he thinks sounds good and what doesn't. He also really enjoys reading, at least in part, and perhaps not surprisingly, because it's quiet. He's on a mission to convince his wife they need a badger as a household pet. It's not going well.

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