clive barker

Because literature and filmmaking are different disciplines that utilize different skills in order to create fear and dread in audiences, it is rare that a skilled artisan from one field can effectively transition into the other (anyone remember Stephen King’s directing on “Maximum Overdrive”). A rare exception to the case is that of novelist/screenwriter/director Clive Barker.

Content Film has announced they will once again be teaming up with the folks that brought you "The Machine" to bring you "Don't Knock Twice". Mark Huckerby and Nick Ostler, who I've never met in person in case you were wondering, will pen the script for the film which will apparently be about some sort of spooky urban legend type thing. What I'm saying is details are light, but I assume knocking will be involved.

Anyone want to see the trailer for the upcoming "From Dusk Till Dawn" TV show? No, no one does. That was a trick question. The show premieres on March 11th on the El Rey Network, which is apparently a thing, and pretty much follows the same plot at the 1996 Robert Rodriguez flick. Still think you might want to see it? What if I told you Rodriguez has nothing to do with the project? That did it? Glad I could help.

Raven Banner Entertainment has dropped news that they will be moving forward with a big screen adaptation of Clive Barker's "Jacqueline Ess: Her Will And Testament". The short story tells the tale of a young lass who has the ability to change people's shape with her mind. So ya know, big peepees come into play I assume. Production is set to begin sometime this fall.

Apparently during my crazy leave it was announced that "Annabelle", the creepy doll from "The Conjuring" would be getting it's own spin off film. Well it looks like Eric Ladin and Brian Howe have both been added to the cast. I have no idea if this is good news or not. I don't know who these guys are. I don't know what this movie is about. I'm so frightened and confused by what else I might have missed.

For those of you who don't subscribe to Showtime or don't know how to illegally download TV shows off the internet like most of America you'll be excited to know that "Dexter" is finally coming to Netflix streaming on October 31st. Well to be more accurate seasons 1 through 5 will be coming to Netflix on the 31st and the rest of the seasons will hit on January 1st. So come January 2nd there will be a whole new crop of people complaining about how the show ended. Happy holidays.

I never remember what movies Neill Blomkamp has made but I do remember always thinking his name sounds like one of those insane sexual acts that no one ever really does but people seem to all know about. What a dirty dirty man. And apparently Sigourney Weaver is a dirty girl because she's signed on to his next film titled "Chappie". No word on what role she'll play but the film is about a robot with mad crazy artificial intelligence skills who gets kidnapped by a couple of gangsters. Kind of like "Short Circuit" but without all of the comedy and an Italian guy doing a terrible Indian accent.

Last week I broke the exclusive news that Clive Barker would be personally writing the script for the upcoming "Hellraiser" remake. I know, I was kind of shocked when he chose me to be the one person he told. Of course he also asked me not to tell anyone else and now we're fighting but it was kind of worth it ya know? Plus, that guy loves an Edible Arrangement so I'm pretty sure I can make it up to him pretty easily. The point I'm getting to here is that he told some other people that the film will in fact be rated R. So now I'm telling you.

Kevin Tancharoen has apparently been onboard to direct the "Mortal Kombat" reboot for about 3 years now. He's decided to leave the project though. Cause ya, it's been 3 years or something. I don't know, I lost interest in stuff after about a week. Case in point the frequency of these news posts. Just saying.

I was gaga over this "You're Next" when it was in theaters a few months back. Mostly because I like looping songs, masks and Craig T. Nelson. Well good news for me and everyone else who likes awsome things because it's just been announced that the home invasion flick will hit Blu-Ray and other homeless-people-medias on January 14th. The disc will come with a making-of featurette, two commentary tracks and god knows what else. Just to be clear Craig T. Nelson is not in this movie. I just really like him.

Clive Barker has dropped the bomb that he will in fact write the script for the upcoming "Hellraiser" remake. Want to get moister? The original Pinhead himself Doug Bradley will reprise his role. Want to get moister!? I'm wearing one of those old-timey pajama numbers where the bottom flips down so you can make BM. Alright that last one was a lie, but I kind of wanted to see what sort of sick crap you're into. Sinner.

Andre Ovredal created "Troll Hunter" and because I loved that movie and all things Norwegian I want to be his best friend. I now know why he isn't returning my letters though, it's because he's working on "The Autopsy of Jane Doe", a new film about a father son mortuary team who begin to unravel the mystery surrounding a Jane Doe they receive. No word on a cast yet but the project is set to begin filming in London shortly. Alright, I haven't really written him or anything. No one writes letters anymore. They UPS hair dolls.

Tim Daly, Mario van Peebles, Cody Christian and Willa Ford have all been confirmed to be joining the cast of Steven C. Miller's "Submerged". I read the plot to this film a good 4 times but I really just kept thinking about how I think Willa Ford is probably 300 years old now and is still hot. How is that possible? Wasn't she a pop star back in the 90's? What the hell is going on? Wait no, she's 32. That's younger than I am and I'm hideous. This has taken a terrible turn.

"True Blood" actress Mariana Klaveno has her sultry little eyes set on playing Lily Mubnter in the upcoming "Munsters" reboot titled "Mockingbird Lane". Problem is she's already signed a contract to play a role on the ABC series "Devious Maids", which has already been canned but may move to Lifetime. So she's all "I wanna play Lily Munster!" And they're all "but you have to do our stupid show!" And she's all "But I didn't know about the Lily Munster role when I agreed to do your stupid show!" And They're all "Too bad stupid!". That's an actual transcript.

Rumor has it that the script for "Phantasm 5" has already been completed and the project will begin filming sometime this year. Nothing has been officially announced and seeing that Angus Scrimm is pushing 90 there's a solid chance he won't be filling The Tall Mans shoes but if we all hold hands and pray then maybe we can make this happen. Let's sing a song now.

IFC Midnight has swooped in to grab the rights to "Replicas", a new home invasion flick from first time director Jeremy Power Regimbal. The movie, about a family who find themselves trapped in their suburban home after moving to start a new life after a tragic event, has yet to be given a release date but may find it's way to VOD later this year. It will also probably play in some weird crappy theater that smells like falafel and doesn't serve popcorn because it isn't eco friendly.

This sounds like a joke but it isn't. At least I don't think it is. Clive Barker, as in "Hellraiser" Clive Barker, has signed on to rewrite the script for the film "Zombies vs. Gladiators". The film, as you might have guessed, is about a group of Roman gladiators who must battle a horde of zombies after they're unleashed on the Colosseum by a aging shaman. This sounds both insane and awesome at the same time.

I use to love "Mr. Show" but for some reason over the years I have really grown to hate David Cross. Don't ask me why. But his better half from the show, Bob Odenkirk, I still love. He's adorable. And he's been cast as the Devil in the new R rated stop motion flick "Hell and Back". The animated romp revolves around a group of friends who travel into the underworld to save their friend from eternal damnation. Ya know. For the kids.

Remember the show "Terra Nova"? I do actually! Which ruins every joke I had going in my head. But for those of you who don't, it was a short lived Steven Spielberg produced show on Fax that revolved around a group of travelers who go back in time... or to a different world... or something. I don't know, there were dinosaurs. Well the show tanked but Netflix decided to take it on and continue to stream the series. Until now that is. They've decided to ax the entire thing. That was a lot of work to get to the point of this wasn't it? I hope you appreciate it.

People go gaga over Clive Barker's 1990 film "Nightbreed". I'm not here to judge... It's not my favorite. There I said it! But people are going to get moist now I'm sure because Clive has dropped the news that he is very much in talks to bring the movie to the little screen with a new series. The show will apparently be on cable but no news as of yet on who might pick it up, when it might air or what it will even be about. I'd bet it won't even happen but man let's not let that ruin our excitement.

Will someone look up my last news item on "Child’s Play"? I don't remember if i said it was on or off. Or don't, I'm not the boss of you. Either way today the news is that the remake is not only a go but so is a spin off film about Chucky’s immediate family. I have no idea what that means but I'm not too concerned because the whole thing will be scrapped next week. Or maybe not. I'm a glass half full kind of guy.

David Hackl, the director of "Saw V" has got a new film coming out called "Red Machine" and today we've got our first image. The movie is about a bear that goes nuts and kills people so the image is of... you guessed it, a pissed off bear. Well played!

For those of you who enjoy the written word, Clive Barker is just about wrapped up with "The Scarlet Gospels", the final chapter in his "Hellraiser" series. Hopefully they'll make a movie out of it, because pictures are better then words. Fact!

Ciaran Hinds is in talks to play the Devil in the upcoming "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" film. What's better? Some Italian actress/singer named Violante Placido is apparently in talks to join the cast as well. I've never heard of her and from what I've seen on Google Images she's never heard of clothing either.

Finally here's some new images from "My Soul to Take". They've got a kid freakin out and then another one with some kids drawing straws and... oh god I just don't have it in me anymore. This movie is going to be awful.

We take a trip back to the early 90's this week to review Clive Barker's "Candyman", and Mark fills in for Joe with a beer recommendation.