elizabeth banks

★ ★ ★ ½

I wish I could stop talking about Daniel Radcliffe. I'd give anything really. But here's a new clip from "The Woman In Black", which stars the little bugger as a lawyer sent to a remote village to sort out the paperwork of a recently deceased client. In the clip he's all napping and looking so god damn cute I could just squeeze him. Oh here I go again! What did the doctor tell me? Oh yeah. I should want to invite Daniel Radcliffe over for dinner. I shouldn't want to cut into him, and wear his skin as a Key to other worlds and dimensions.

Ah crap. NBC has put in a order for a new series based on everyone's favorite blood sucker, Dracula. The show, which is cleverly titled "Dracula" is being described as "Dangerous Liaisons meets The Tudors" or in "Joe Terms" a movie I never saw crossed with a TV show that made me feel like I had just eaten a box of Fig Newtons and washed it down with a Fresca. Think about that for a few minutes.

Speaking of things that make me feel like less of a man here's a new look at Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket from the upcoming big screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games". I don't know why it makes me feel like less of a man but when I look at the picture I feel like I should say things like "No white pants after Labor Day" and "Oh I can't wait for Fashion Week".

I'm pretty sure now that I've read "The Hunger Games" I'll be getting my "special visitor" any day now but god damn if I'm not excited about the big screen adaptation of the book. I mean look at this new fake nail polish ad with Elizabeth Banks all prettied up. Just look at it. I've never been more ashamed of myself.

Andrzej Bartkowiak directed the movie "Doom", which was based on a video game and was awesome. If you think it was terrible then I think you're terrible. Sorry I have to be so harsh around the holidays. The reason I'm letting you know all this is Bartkowiak has now been tapped to direct a new film titled "Beneath the Deep", a new film about a group of travelers trapped in the Caribbean with some locals who see them as intruders. Sounds like my in-laws! But seriously folks, what's the deal with airplane food?

Sam Raimi is directing "Oz: The Great and Powerful" so it was pretty much a no brainer that Bruce Campbell would pop up in the film somewhere. But then Bruce took to the tweets and said he wasn't going to be able to be in the film. But now, now it looks like he is because in a recent interview he said he shot a small but pivotal scene in the film. More on this developing story as it unfolds.

"The Darkest Hour" comes out on Christmas and I've explained the plot so many times in the news that if you don't know it by now then you don't read this every day and there's a good chance you're not reading it now so I'm not sure why I'm even typing this. Here's a new clip from the film where a reporter gets all blown up and crap. Thank you for your business.

Elizabeth Banks is the latest name to be added to the cast of "The Hunger Games", a post apocalyptic flick that centers around a group of children who are sent to battle each other for their homelands. No clue what role Banks will play but if I was a betting man I'd say she isn't going to be one of the children. Unless they do that weird CGI adult head on a baby. But that's just creepy and no one wants to see that. Ever.

A couple of new stills and a poster have popped up on the tubes for Lars Von Trier's upcoming end of the world film "Melancholia". I don't care how many posters, stills or trailers they release for this movie that tell me otherwise I am 100% positive someone is getting a hammer to the penis in this film. You can't fool me Lars! You crafty son of a bitch.

As far as I know R.L. Stine's work has never made it to the big screen but it looks like that's about to change. While we wait for a Goosebumps movie to come to life his book "It's the First Day of School" has been picked up by the Holly of Woods and will be coming to the silver screen in the near future. I'm already looking to enjoying how uncomfortable it's going to be sitting along in a theater full of children because I have to watch this for the podcast. Piss off, Chris Hanson, I have to be here!

Well I can't say I'm surprised but I also can't say I'm excited. "Troll Hunter", my favorite movie of all time this week is going to see a U.S. remake in the near future. While nothing has been signed the film's director André Øvredal has confirmed the remake will be happening but the good news is he sounds positive about it. Or at least that's what people think, everything those Norwegians say sounds like the recording of a talking German robot being played backwards.

God please let this drag out. Apparently there's a big ass distribution rights argument going on between Relativity Media and The Weinsteins for who gets to put out "The Crow" remake. Lawyers are getting involved and much to my surprise apparently both groups actually want to put out the film. I assumed it was some sort of kicking in the balls match they had for who has to put out the movie or something.

Did you like "Tron: Legacy"? You did!? Me too! We're twins! Did you notice I make this same joke every other week!? You did!? Go to hell! Anyway the same fellas that wrote the script for the Tron sequel have now picked up the torch to bring the comic book "Rex Mundi" to the big screen for Johnny Depp's production company, Infinitum Nihil. That name of course means whale's vagina in German. Screw you guys, you come up with Rob Zombie jokes every other day.

Here's more exciting casting news for "Hunger Games"! Willow Shields has been cast as Primrose Everdeen, the younger sister of someone else in the movie that I have no idea about. Just so we're clear I am still completely confused buy the plot of the movie, which apparently has children fighting to the death. And now I have no idea who this Everdeen girl is. Wait has anyone seen my glasses?! Oh Christ!

"Dylan Dog: Dead of Night" has gotten jack and squat as far as advertising but mother of god it looks pretty good. Need proof? Look at this new clip that features some sort of mega-zombie type creature. And then you can F yourself for ever questioning me. I thought we were past that.

If you're a big Sookie Stackhouse fan prepare to be excited. Bluewater Productions will be creating a Charlaine Harris comic in their "Female Force" line.

Not content with turning viewers stomachs with his big screen take on "I Am Legend", Will Smith will be re-entering the genre with a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's "Suspicion".

Because showing up on every single '50 Horror Movies for $10' box set isn't enough, George Romero's now public domain "Night of the Living Dead" is now available to you in an iPhone app.