HI EVERYBODY! (This needs to be read in a Simpson-esque Dr. Nick voice. Otherwise, it just totally doesn't work). It is I, your Connoisseur of Crap, returning from yet another extended hiatus. No, this time, the guys didn't "forget" they had locked me in the basement; I've just been recovering from some surgeries. You don't really know "exhausted" until you're just too damn tired to watch horror movies and make sarcastic comments on the interwebs. Luckily for you, coinciding with my triumphant return is a return of another kind: Everyone's favorite misunderstood swamp-dwelling, hatchet-wielding, slightly deformed, yet oh-so-lovable maniac, Victor Crowley (who is again played by the towering Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th fame) is back for another gore soaked swamp-romp in HATCHET 3!