red riding hood

I don't want to say I'm some kind of god that can see into the future but here's the trailer for "Red Riding Hood" and as I predicted it looks like a pile of turds. Of course the words "From the director of 'Twilight'" attached to it might be considered a giveaway but if you want to call me the Nostradamus of crappy movies I'm not going to argue.

Here's a new one sheet for the long awaited indie film "Job". The story revolves around a group of priests who are hiding a secret only to be terrorized by "the Dark Christ". I assume that means the devil. It's got to be, right? Oh god have I stumbled upon some sort of weird racist propaganda movie?

Daniel Stamm, the guy who directed "The Last Exorcism", has been confirmed to be taking the helm of the English remake of "Martyrs". In other news, I'm finally going to see "Martyrs"! Once they make an English language version of it that is.

And I couldn't go a full week without some Nic Cage in my life. His new film "Drive Angry" in which he... well he drives a car real angry like, has been slapped with an R rating. When's the last time Mr. Cage was in an R rated movie? Was it that one where he tried to drink himself to death? I hope he tries to drink himself to death while driving in this one. Next level!

Apparently Cory Feldman and most of the cast of "The Goonies" would love to see a sequel happen. Wait, is this news? Of course they would. The kid who played Data has been giving out handies under a bridge for the last 20 years. Of course they'd like to see a sequel. Is Chunk still alive? I'm sorry I even brought this up, ignore the whole thing.

I have no desire to talk about "Scream 4" but these new photos raise so many questions. Are these actually just screen shots from the old movies? Who's that boy that looks like the cheerleader from "Heroes"? Why in the holy living hell hasn't someone put Wes Craven in an old folks home yet? We may never know.

Get ready guys, here's the first look at Amanda Seyfried in "Red Riding Hood". Let me be the first to applaud the creators of the film for not cheapening things by putting her in some scantily clad outfit. No, you guys stayed true to the kids story and covered her from head to toe. Maybe go to the next level and put her in a burlap sack. That'll show em!

Ah boy this can't be good. "The Thing" prequel, which was originally set for an April 29th 2011 release date has been updated to TBD. After searching my computer's calender for a good 30 minutes I then looked up what TBD meant. Well, first I went to Taco Bell and got dinner but then I looked it up. I think we're done here.

Pack your picnic basket and grab your hood because Warner Brothers has set a date for Catherine Hardwicke's werewolf tale "Red Riding Hood". This Amanda Seyfried starring gothic retelling will hit theaters on March 11th, 2010.

The next "Final Destination" installment has been given an annoying official title in the form of "5nal Destination". Details have slipped about the film's opening suspension bridge disaster as well, but we all stopped caring after "5nal".

Anne Rice herself has taken to talking up speculation about her own properties as she drops hints about a possible "Vampire Lestat" reboot as well as a possible "Witching Hour" film or TV series. There are little to no concrete details thus far but 'Twihards', pay attention; this is where your whole goth romance schtick got its start.