stephen king

Room 237
★ ★

I'm just going to come right out and say it. I don't get why people go ape shit for David Cronenberg's "Scanners". Yeah a guy's head explodes but that's within the first 15 minutes of the movie. Then there's another 167 (rough guess) of talking to sit through. None the less the 1981 film is finding its way onto a special edition Blu-Ray on April 8, 2013 and will be packaged with all kinds of special features for you to enjoy. Enjoy them as much as 647 minutes (rough guess) of people talking about something I don't honestly remember.

Apparently the Guillermo del Toro produced flick "Mama" did pretty well at the box office because not only is it being considered for a sequel but possibly even a franchise. I like to think there could even be spin offs in the future. "Dada" for instance. And then of course the wacky "Uncle Buck". Didn't see that coming did you.

The little screens adaptation of Stephen King's "Under the Dome" has landed itself Rachelle Lefevre as it's leading lady. For those of you not familiar with her work she was in one, and possibly all, of the "Twilight" movies so that makes her a big time movie screen person. That's a thing, I know it.

Remember Orlando Jones? He was in those Sprite commercials and then that movie with the guy from "X-Files" where aliens invade and then he was the weird hologram guy in "The Time Machine". I know I love him too. And now he's been cast in "Sleepy Hollow", a new show coming to Fox which is said to be a modern day take on the classic tale. I'm not joking either. I really do like him. I think he's super.

"Under the Dome", a new series coming to CBS that's based on the Stephen King novel about a town that finds itself enclosed in a transparent dome, has landed itself a bad guy in the form of Dean Norris. You might know Norris from his role on "Breaking Bad" or as 1st Scientist from the 1993 made for TV movie "Barbarians at the Gate". Probably from "Breaking Bad" though.

There's more horror shows coming to the boob tube than you could shake a stick at but one of the first to be announced is "Hannibal", a new series about a detective and the famous man-eater he enlists to help him track down a psychopath. Sounds pretty dandy and now NBC has confirmed an airing date of April 4th has been announced so it looks like we won't have to wait to long to get all fava beany. On a side note, don't ever shake a stick at your TV. You'll look like a crazy person.

I think I blocked out the fact that Universal is rebooting "The Mummy" franchise because I don't think Brendan Fraser is going to be in it and a Mummy film without Brendan Fraser is no Mummy movie I want to see. Now it looks like the big boys are sick of waiting for "Prometheus" writer Jon Spaihts to come up with a script so they hired Billy Ray to come up with one of his own at the same time. I guess the reasoning is one of them will come up with a script sometime soon so why not give it a go. I only hope they end up adding more writers to the pool and I get my chance. Keep your fingers crossed, Brendan.

I've never seen a single Michael Armstrong film but apparently he's the bees knees and people will be all excited to find out he's coming out of retirement to direct "Orphanage", a new film that isn't the remake of another film I haven't seen for completely different reasons. We really got to know each other today didn't we. I love you.

So last week we talked about how the "Zombieland" TV series will be made available via amazon in the not to distant future and now we know that Eli Craig is in talks to direct. For those of you who don't know Eli he's the guy who wrote and directed "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil". No word on any of the cost for the show but if I know the guy who was in the original movie and then went on to play the Facebook kid like I think I do he's probably sitting at home thinking, "Ya know I'd like to just do a show that can only be seen on a website that people don't know you can watch shows on. Sign me up for that."

Britt Robertson, who was apparently in "Scream 4" and is not a stripper, has landed a role in the upcoming television adaptation of Stephen King's "Under the Dome". For those of you not familiar with the story it's pretty much "The Simpsons" movie but with less yellow. Robertson will play a young waitress with dreams of getting out of her hometown. Oh man imagine if a giant dome trapped her in that very same town she wants to leave? That would make an awesome show.

It looks like Magnolia Pictures has picked up the rights to "S-VHS", the follow up to 2012's anthology flick "V/H/S". This time around the story follows private investigators who are searching for a number of missing people and stumble upon a group of tapes in a abandoned house. A bunch of directors I've never heard of are on board for the film but I'm awful with names so they might be well known. I might sit next to one of them at work. Wouldn't that be weird?

IFC has dropped a March 28th release date for "Room 237", a new documentary that focuses on the making of Stanley Kubrick’s classic flick "The Shining". There's really nothing funny I can say about that so let's just call it a day shell we?

It's a known fact that anytime Danny Trejo makes out with a girl half his age an angel gets its wings. So good news for all the flightless people in the big upstairs because "Machete Kills" has finally been slapped with a September 13, 2013 release date. Watching him make out is without a doubt one of the most upsetting and inspiring things the human eye can see.

If there's one thing we can all agree on it's that the original "The Crazies" was awful and the 2010 remake was awesome. There is not a single person on this planet who can argue that. Well the guy who co-wrote the retelling, Ray Wright, has just signed on the pen the script to "The Widow". The film follows a younger woman who befriends a older widow only to find that their meeting was not a coincidence. Sounds frighting already. Old people you know. You can see their veins.

The US remake of the Chilean flick "Hidden In the Woods" has landed itself one half of the Babysitter Twins duo in the form of Electra Avellan. No word on if her sister will join the cast but the a story of two sisters fighting to escape the prison like environment they've been raised in, so I mean they need a sister right? If not I hope they got the one with the least unintelligible accent.

Youngster Colin Ford has been added to the cast of "Under the Dome", a Stephen King and Steven Spielberg collaboration currently set for a 13 episode run on CBS starting this June. Based on King's novel the series is set in a small town whose residents discover they've been trapped by a mysterious barrier. I hope there's a Taco Bell in the town. I mean no tacos? I'd be all like, "you gotta get this barrier to go away. I need tacos!"

Joan Allen seems like an all around nice gal. I can't say I remember one movie she's been in or actually recognize her face or name but still I think she's got a winning personality. And if that doesn't sell you on the fact that she's been added to the cast of the big screen adaptation of Stephan King's "A Good Marriage" I'm not sure what will. The story follows a wife who discovers her husband has been hiding an awful secret for many years. What's my awful secret you ask? I love those little country stores that sell all kinds of jams, jellies and knick knacks. There, it's finally out there.

If you love Michael Bay and James Wong, and I mean really love them like you want to be with them, then you're going to be super excited about the new supernatural cop drama the two are working on for A&E titled "Occult". The show follows two investigators who find themselves a part of a new task force that focuses on the occult. Just to be clear I don't mean you love them like brothers I mean you love them like you want to kidnap them and hold them hostage.

I don't know what it is about Neil Jordan but the guy has a name that makes me want to throw him off a cliff. I mean I like his movies and all I just can't stomach the name. Neil.... JORDAN. But I will get past it and watch "Byzantium", a new film of his that was just picked up by IFC. The film follows two girls who find themselves on the run when they encounter a 200 year old vampire. To be clear I'm going to watch the movie because apparently they work in a brothel for a while and the chance of nudity trumps all name hate.

Everyone's favorite uber-star Nic Cage is apparently in talks to take the lead in a new film titled "I Am Wrath". In the film Cage would play a husband who must take the law into his own hands when he finds the people investigating the murder of his wife are not such nice fellas. I assume they're fellas cause you know you never see a real prick female cop in movies. I don't know if that's sexist or not. I think it might be.