kevin smith

There are few things in the world that pain me more than to say the new trailer for Kevin Smith's "Red State" looks really good. I had to go to Smith's twitter account and read him talking about how much he loves being "indie" and eating ham sandwiches just to get back into the right state of mind.

As a youngin there's few movies I loved more then the original "The Amityville Horror". Mostly because it was suppose to be based on a true story and anytime a kid hears that a house bleeds they get excited. Well now there's a new documentary titled "My Amityville Horror" that focuses on the real life events that inspired the original book and movie, from the perspective of the Lutz's children. Tickle me excited.

Hoarders are so hot right now so it stands to reason that Tom Petty's daughter would make a horror movie about them. There's a sentence I never thought I'd write. The film being directed by Adria Petty is called "Suffocate" and focuses on a group of city workers who enter the house of a hoarder to find it full of booby traps and copies of "Full Moon Fever". The second part might be a lie but I'd be willing to be a good hoarder has at least one or two copies floating around.

In a recent interview Aaron Eckhart stated that "Battle: Los Angeles" is "the most badass f***ing alien movie you’ve ever seen in your life." I see no way that this kind of thing could ever come back to bite him in the ass. From the trailers alone I can say this movie is going to be 10 times more "badass" thsn films like "Alien" and "Predator". Put it in the books people!

Despite my undying hatred for Kevin Smith, "Red State" actually looks pretty good, and it kills me to say that. Well to keep the ball rolling Mrs. Smith (see what I did there) released a new clip to the fine people at MTV. Because if you want to stay indie, you go to the channel that brought you "The Grind".

Rosamund Pike, who has a stupid name but was apparently in "Doom" so I like her, has been added to the cast of the "Clash of the Titans" sequel currently titled "Wrath of the Titans". The movie will be bad but it's got the girl with the stupid name who was in "Doom" so maybe it'll make me think of The Rock, the wrestler not the movie, and it'll make me happy and I'll like it. That's logic people, logic all over your face.

Victor Salva is the guy responsible for ruining my senior year by making the movie "Powder", bald pale white guys aren't all freaks, people! Now he's got a new movie titled "Rosewood Lane" that has just cast Rose McGowen. If this one turns out to be about a guy with a mild drinking problem and horrible grammar who sits on NJ transit for 2 hours a day I'm going to think Victor has it out for me.

Suck on that "Snakes on a Plane"! David R. Ellis has topped you for best movie name ever. He wants to release his new film under the title "Untitled 3D Shark Thriller". Try to guess what the movie is about and what dimension it'll be shown is. I bet you guess right. If you didn't you might want to get that looked at.

Sir Kevin Smith plans on trimming about 10 minutes of film from "Red State" before he hits the road on March 5th to screen the film to select audiences. With ticket prices for the screenings running anything from $50 to $125 I'm going to go ahead and say I don't give a crap how bad the movie is you leave in every freakin second of it before it turns out people are paying 100 bucks for a crappy 12 minute opus.

Wait a second isn't there already a remake of "Mother's Day" coming out"? What the hell is "Father's Day"? Where did this teaser come from? Who are these people? What are you doing Troma? Father get raped in this movie? What the hell is going on!? Where am I?

Good news everyone in Chicago, "Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong" will premier there on 4/20 (get it!?) and will feature "Sniff-O-Rama". What that pretty much means is the good people from Full Moon will give out a bunch of scratch-n-sniff cards when you go to see the movie and you can pretend like you're in the movie. I'm just guessing here but I'm thinking 95% of the cards will smell like weed.

What's got two thumbs and is only 85% sarcastic about being excited for "The Roommate" this Friday? This guy! Try not being fired up after checking out the 3 news clips from the movie that have hit the tubes. Just try you monsters!

Even though "Death Race 2" hasn't hit shelves yet the good people at Universal are already planning a third installment to the series. I like this kind of confidence in a film. If only more people had the cahones like these guys and the people making all the "Lake Placid" movies then maybe the world wouldn't be in such bad shape right now.

The fellas that brought you "Open Water" will premiere their new film "Silent House" at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival. The flick is based on a Uruguayan movie and is described as a "descent into madness". In other news I have no idea where Uruguay is and was clueless to the fact that they have electricity there let alone film equipment.

Dear lord I don't want to make thise joke because I assume every other site is doing it but it's just to damn easy. Vincent Pastore of "The Sopranos" and Jasmin St. Claire of a gazillion porn movies plan on staring in a new zombie flick titled "Blood Lodge". You see it's funny because he played Big Pussy and she... well, ya know. Teehee!

Kevin Smith has decided he will only do Podcast and Radio interviews for his upcoming film "Red State" because he can do those from home and he's gotten way to big to travel to any TV studios. And when I say big I mean fat. And yes I am BSing about the second part. So please Kevin Smith, don't deny your fans the chance to gaze upon your giant head and chicken wing sauce stained beard. Don't be so cruel.

I had all these fun sarcastic things to say about the new trailer for "Black Death" but I just don't have it in me. This red band sucker has witches, people getting poked with spikes and all around Medieval nastiness. Unfortunately now I just feel like I need a shower and I'd like to take a nap.

All kinds of hot pics have hit the tubes from the soon to be classic "Dead Race 2". Yes it's direct to DVD and no there's no Jason Statham but hey they still have cars in the movie with machine guns and stuff. That's still something, right?

Two new posters for Kevin Smith's "Red State" have been released and about as fun as shooting a toothless hog outside of a trailer hitch. Or at least that's what I assume the people in those posters would say. maybe something about vittles. Point being they look like they're a product of inbreeding. Get it?

In case you've been up all night wondering if Heather Morris from "Glee" is actually being considered for the role of Buffy in the upcoming re-make/re-boot/re-whogivesashit then I'm happy to report you can finally sleep. She is being considered. Happy now?

Here's a bunch of new pictures from "Red State" that have hit the nets. For those of you not in the know "Red State" is the new Kevin Smith horror flick that will apparently not include any of the haha. Sounds like all his other films! Booyah, I'm on today,

Here's a bunch of new images from "I Saw the Devil" which unfortunately, don't show the actual devil. But from the look on people's faces it looks like maybe they did see the devil so I am going to keep my fingers crossed that at some point I will see the devil in this film... DEVIL.

Dustin Runnels AKA Goldust from the good old WWE will be directing and producing his first horror film titled "The Fire Witch". No idea what the movie will actually be about but my guess is it has something to do with fire and probably at least one witch.

Remember Anne Rice? Me too! Wow we should do a checklist of all the other things we have in common. Anyway Anne is hoping for a reboot of her "The Vampire Chronicles" film, probably because vampires are so hot right now and she's fallen on hard times. I heard she spends her days at the local food kitchen. That's not confirmed though.