I am looking everywhere for horror news. Everywhere. With the exception of something with Ashley Olsen called “Beastly”, there's no news. None. Oh, there's plenty of news about Anthony Hopkins playing Odin in the “Thor” adaptation, or that “Men in Black 3” is moving forward, but nothing that is remotely horror related. Um... Cameron Diaz might be remaking Mel Gibson's “What Women Want”. That's pretty damn scary. “Twilight” is getting re-released in theaters. UGH.

I know that some of you are probably freaking out right now, but, you know... BREATHE. It'll be okay. Here's an idea: how about trying out some new genre this weekend? You're life can't all be horror and, if it is, chances are you're highly unemployable. Why not try a nice romantic comedy? I watched “The Proposal” the other night and found it absolutely delightful!

Or, even better...how about turning off the TV and taking your puppy to the dog park? Yeah! Get off your fat, unwashed ass and cavort and frolic with your loving pet. He could die at any minute. Do you want the guilt of having this loyal companion die of loneliness while you watch “Evil Dead 2” for the 30th time? Don't have a dog, volunteer at an animal shelter. DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE.

Over at our distinguished competition, Dread Central, they have announced that, along with something called Home Media Magazine, that they are launching the “Reaper Awards”. The “judges” are veritable who's who in the horror mag/blog community—so they're no one important in real life—and they promise to “honor horror films as they are meant to be seen – raw and uncensored.” For a preview of this year's “best picture” winner, keep watching the sidebars and pop-ups of Dread Central for who ever is paying for the most ad-space—so far the winner is “The Unborn”, which is now available on DVD!

Earlier this week, Eric reported about Stephen Norrington and his upcoming re-imagining/remake/redux/reboot of “The Crow”. Apparently, in addition to that, him and Stephen Dorff are working on a prequel to “Blade”—a prequel trilogy, no less—featuring the origin and history of, no, not Blade, but Deacon Frost, the good-looking hipster vamp played by Dorff in the first film. That's like creating a trilogy based around the history of, say, Doctor Octopus before he became Doctor Octopus. Mark my words: this movie will never, ever get made. If anything, it was probably just some late-night pillow talk between Norrington and Dorff. But they can dream...

Merry Old England is releasing their first ever 3-D horror film, titled, whimsically enough, “Elfie Hopkins and the Gammons”. Based on the British novel “I Gots Gribblesnorts In Me Pockets!”, filmgoers will thrill to the sight of Shepard's Pie, bad teeth, the loss of the original thirteen colonies, Margaret Thatcher and a skinhead soccer hooligan coming right off the screen and head-butting them in patented “Fook Off You Wanker-vision!” The first two-hundred viewers will also get a free Dixie Cup of warm, stale Guinness.

As you may know, coming straight to video is “Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever” and apparently “Hostel Part 3”. While frat-splat director Eli Roth will not be involved with these sequels, he'll completely admit to “double-teaming some Kappa Pi bitch” at last weekend's “Sigma Epsilon Night to Remember Beer-Bash for Cystic Fibrosis”, which he sealed with a high-five and a “Fuck yeah, bro!” as he downed his sixth Natty L this morning. His eyebrows had no comment.

The first teaser trailer for [REC]2 has arrived and it's a doozy! It looks like more of the same, but there is definitely some good action going here. Later in the day three clips were posted from the new film that are notable for a complete lack of excitement.

Tobin Bell confirms there is an eighth "Saw" movie planned and doesn't deny a ninth. He also failed to acknowledge the dead horse in the room that he was continually beating during the interview. Bell next's reprisal of his Jigsaw role is in the upcoming "Saw" video game, now being shown at E3.

Marking yet another promising creative team to leave the franchise, "Martyrs" director Pascal Laugier is no longer helming the "Hellraiser" remake. There was no reason given but it seems that this remake is quickly becoming a comedy of errors.

In bizarro reboot news, Courtney Cox-Arquette and David Arquette have signed on to the "Scream" reboot. Earlier rumors also pointed to Jamie Kennedy reprising his role. Could this be a first: a remake with the same cast? Do-over!

The first shots of Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex arrive online. They seem rather subdued when compared to the Thomas Jane pics that surfaced last year before Brolin was cast.