Stephen Spielberg and Will Smith for "Oldboy" remake. Wow, I'm just going to sit back and let the commenters take this one over.
"Cotton" is a shaky-cam, psuedo-documentary produced by Eli Roth and directed by Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland. The story? Well, it's about "evangelical minister who turns against religion and decides to participate in a documentary in which he practices his last exorcism." Eli Roth and a hand held film? Let the ranting ensue.
John Landis to direct new horror comedy called "Burke and Hare". This one's about "the true story of William Burke and William Hare, serial killers who sold the corpses of their 17 victims to the Edinburgh Medical College for dissection." Um... sounds, hilarious?
Tim Sullivan is going to write and direct two sequels to his film "2001 Maniacs". They're going to be titled "2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hellbillys" and "2001 Maniacs: The Hillbillys Have Eyes". See what he did there?
As fun as it sounds, please refrain from clearing cobwebs from your eaves with a blowtorch. It may sound fun, but you're probably going to burn your house down.
Woman tries to smuggle crackpipe into prison in her buttcrack. The possibilities for punny headlines are endless here, but it's Friday and I'm tired so... figure it out yourself.
1872: The cargo ship Mary Celeste sails from New York, never reaching Genoa. Four weeks later it is found completely abandoned, whereabouts of the ten man crew unknown.