Horror Headlines 9/4/08

New poster and theatrical dates for "My Name Bruce", Bruce Campbell's ode to the three Amigos about what happens when a small town mistakes him for a real demon fighter. THANK GOD they got rid of the original poster. Go ahead and google it, if you've got the stomach for it. This one is much closer to where it should be. Can't wait to see this.

Sony is picking up David Fincher's remake of "Heavy Metal", after it was dropped by Paramount over a dispute concerning Fincher's current project "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". As the story goes, Paramount wants Fincher to cut 20 minutes from the film, he refuses, so they refused to work with him on any future projects. So I have no idea what this means for Button's future, but it does mean that "Heavy Metal" has found a new home. Now let's just hope it turns out as amazing as that South Park episode spoofing it.

There is a video floating around the internet that contains footage from the first teaser from "The Wolf Man" starring Benizio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. The twist though is that it was filmed at a convention on a handlheld camera and it has no sound. If you really really really feel the need to see it in that state, click here. If you're like me and can wait, rest assured that I'll provide you with the proper link when the time comes. You've been warned.

Mark Millar will be providing a short outline for a "Wanted 2" sequel, and makes it sound like it's only a matter of time before the project gets greenlit. My only requirement for this to happen is for someone to please get Angelina Jolie a sandwich. I mean Jesus people, look at this and tell me that's not the grossest thing you've ever seen. Okay maybe not the grossest, but the girl still needs to put some meat on her bones.

Guillermo Del Toro is officially "booked" until 2017. Not sure when he's going to have time to scratch his balls, but I guess swimming in his pool filled with money might help ease the pain.

In Real People News: 

18 year old boyfriend strangles 17 year old girlfriend's mother to death, gives his girlfriend earplugs first so she doesn't have to hear the proceedings. Wow, is it just me, or is that strangely considerate for someone about to choke the crap out of an old lady?

Apparently New Zealand is having just as much trouble with youth violence as our UK brothers are these days, and now the little bastards have nunchakus. You seriously have to read the source on this one, the mental picture will keep you entertained for hours.

There's a very clear reason why you shouldn't hide in a porta-potty when trying to escape from a crime scene... because the people you robbed can find you and tip it over. And so ends today's lesson in common sense.

On this day in history: 

2000: During a campaign stop in Naperville, Illinois, Presidential candidate George W Bush turns to running mate Dick Cheney and says, "There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole from the New York Times." Cheney responds, "Oh yeah, he is, big-time." Unbeknownst to the men, their comments are transmitted clearly to the television news feed. Rather than offer a mea culpa to Clymer, Bush later issues this non-apology: "I regret that a private comment I made to the vice-presidential candidate made it onto the public airwaves. I regret everybody heard what I said." Awww, how sincere.

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