Horror Headlines 8/12/08

A look at the trailer for "Underworld 3", starring Rhona Mitra. As long as they recreate some of the pit-fighting in "Doomsday", I'll give this one a chance.

Something sounded fishy about this story the other day but I reported it any ways, serves me right. It turns out that Warner Bro's is definitely not releasing Mike Dougherty's Halloween themed anthology flick "Trick 'r Treat". There is a sweet new poster at the link, but it's not quite enough to quell my disappointment.

What's worse than a remake or a crappy sequel to "Creepshow"? I'll tell you... an internet series based on the film, of an obviously dubious quality. You know who I blame for this? George Romero. That's right. If he wasn't such an inept business man we wouldn't be subjected to useless remakes and sequels to his films every 5 years. Jesus man, show some restraint with that signing pen of yours.

J.J. Abrams to produce action/terror flick centered around an earthquake. I'm not sure when this guy has time to piss, but I'm sure when he does that it's pure liquid gold.

In Real People News: 

Husband and wife are arguing, she asks for a gun so she can kill herself, husband obliges. Now he's being charged for murder. What exactly did he do except give her what she wanted? If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's be careful what you wish for.

Switzerland, apparently bored out of their minds from being neutral all these years, chimes in with today's best story. An artist created a "house sized", inflatable dog poop, which is now wreaking havoc after a wind picked it up and threw it 200 metres. The ensuing crash took out a number of power lines and even damaged a children's home. I had a joke about "shit happens" here but then decided I wouldn't subject you to it.

You've got to admit that this is a pretty good idea. Police in Longmont Colorado are looking for a man who tried to get free porn videos by claiming he was a police officer who needed to check if the performers were under aged. My guess is this guy can't afford a computer, because otherwise this story makes no sense to me whatsoever.

On this day in history: 

30 BC: Cleoptara, Queen of Egypt and former wife to Julius Caesar, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland.

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