Horror Headlines 7/7/08

Here's a new one, an Indie horror flick in the UK titled "Roid Rage", about a designer performance enhancer that turns bodybuilders into murderous monsters. The director describes it as "horror/action", which for some reason makes me picture lots of Hulk Smashing.

Since Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are no longer doing their thing together, it puts several projects that they were going to be working on in jeopardy. Now, a rumor is going around that Jessica Alba is being considered to fill her shoes on the "Barbarella" remake. My own obsessions aside, I have to say that this is pretty interesting. Would she be good? Of course not, but would she look amazing in leather? I think that goes without saying.

Lions Gate has opened up the official site for "Saw V", and they did it on the 4th of July. I guess there's nothing more American than lousy sequels and stylized violence.

Not that it means anything, but Sigourney Weaver is apparently still very interested in doing a non-existent "Alien 5", as long as there was a decent script and 'a good director like Ridley Scott' returning to the series. We all know it won't be happening any time soon however. Why on earth would you do that when you can continue the most mediocre versus series ever? And yes, I'm including "Puppet Master vs The Demonic Toys" as a versus film that's better.

In Real People News: 

Believe it or not, this is not the first story I've reported on here about a dog nibbling off someone's toe. And, I haven't vomited either time. Go me.

Ya, Hi 911... um, what's my problem? Well there's a man in my basement, and he's covered in BBQ sauce. Why you ask? He says it's urban camouflage. No, I don't know what the hell that means either, but please get here quickly.

A Calcutta woman recently avoided rape by a young neighbor by setting herself on fire. She ended up dying from her injuries. Sorry, that's not really funny at all. Hey, I can't be on all the time people.

Bozo the Clown is dead at 83. In related news, I just discovered that Bozo the Clown is (was) a real person. Also, the clown story makes up for the rape one. Yup, it's true. You can look it up.

On this day in history: 

1348: Black Death, or "The Plague", makes its first appearance in England.

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