WTF?!

Video: Lars Von Trier's New Denmark Tourism Ads

The always reliable Onion News Network has the surprising news that Lars von Trier's directorial follow-up to "Antichrist" is a new series of ads encouraging people to visit his native Denmark. Here's a handy traveler's tip: book your trip for the harsh winter months if you want to really enjoy all the soul-crushing despair Denmark offers, not to mention the lovely Christmas markets.

Video: Danny Glover Kicking It Old School

The 90's, a time of wonder and mystery. Grunge was king, flannel was hip and Danny Glover was America's dance king. Don't remember that last one? Well take a look at the video below which recently surfaced from the archives. In it you'll see Sir Gloves-Alot kicking it old school along with his stable of Predator hoes on the set of "Predator 2". I don't know why it took so long for this to come out but I hope there's more. In fact I hope we'll see a rap battle between Glover, Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci from the set of "Lethal Weapon 3" sometime soon.

Video: "Death Star" Laser Kills Mosquitos!

Being a nerd myself I know there are a few things you can pretty much assume about any standard geek. We love anything to do with "Star Wars" and we love watching crap get blown up. For example the video below which I've now watched a total of 37 times. It's of a mosquito being shot down by a laser gun being called the "Death Star". Holy kick ass batman.

Episode 106 - "Tokyo Gore Police"

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This is going to feel a little funny...

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Trailer: "Won Ton Baby" Will Make You Sick

Stuck at home because of the snow today and want to make yourself vomit? You're in luck! The teaser trailer for "Won Ton Baby" has hit the web.

The movie is about a former brothel owner who's daughter has a cannibalistic parasitic twin in her stomach. Only one way to get the little bugger out, and the teaser below will give you a clip of just how it's done. No release date is set for "Won Ton Baby" yet but we should see this one kicking around in the near future. There's something so artistic about vomit on snow. Enjoy!

Video: New Orleans Coroner's Steal Body Parts!

Did you know that coroners are actually elected by the people? Me either! Apparently there is an election and everything. You might also be interested to know that all coroners steal body parts and sell them on the black market, too. Alright maybe not all of them but it looks like Dr. Minyard down in New Orleans does. Or at least that's what Dr. McKenna is claiming in the commercial you can view below. Dr. Minyard also has really bad teeth and a little hump back assistant according to the TV spot. That guy sounds like a lot of fun.

Trailer: Get All Italian With "In the Mouth of Ubaldo Terzani"

That’s a crappy meatball! That’s what I assume all the Italian movie critics said after watching "In the Mouth of Ubaldo Terzani". I read the plot to the film three times before I gave up and just decided to make my own.

A guy hires another guy to make a movie based on some famous horror writer's book. So the guy moved in with the horror writer and then they start making out and blood shoots everywhere. That about covers it really. Oh and it's all in Italian and the lead actors name is Giuseppe. You can't make this stuff up!

Horror Headline: Thursday January 28th, 2009

Actress Zelda Rubinstein, best known for her role as Tangina in Tobe Hooper's classic "Poltergeist," died of natural causes on Wednesday. She was 76.

Have you longed to feel the rancid breath of a giant ape on your face as he leaps over your head to attack a rampaging Tyrannosaurus Rex? If so, you're in the luck. Filmmaker Peter Jackson has helped Universal Studios relaunch their "King Kong" theme park ride, which will open its doors this summer. Remember to pack your banana hammock.

The first trailer for Capcom's upcoming live-action adaptation of "Dead Rising" has appeared online. It's cheap, it's ugly, and it's extremely violent. In other words, I'm giddy with excitement.

Anchor Bay recently announced they have acquired the rights to Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo's "After Life," a new horror/thriller starring Christina Ricci, Justin Long, and Liam Neeson. When this thing will see the light of day is still anybody's guess.

In Real People News: 

What do 18 year-old female werewolves do for fun? For starters, they use pocket knives to severe the heads of lost dogs. Time permitting, they boil the skulls.

I'm no parent, but I'm pretty sure strapping your baby to the wall with duct tape isn't in the instruction manual. Neither is documenting the event with your digital camera.

When you're hanging out in the parking lot at the local mall, the last thing you expect is to be savagely attacked by a wandering cobra. Destro was not immediately available for comment.

On this day in history: 

1977 - Freddie Prinze commits suicide at the age of 23.

Trailer: After Dark Horrorfest's "ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction"

The whole "trying to make zombies funny thing" is getting a little old, but the people behind "ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction" are giving it another shot. Does it work? From the trailer below I'd say no but then again what do I know. The film focuses on a sleepy little town that is overrun by zombies after toxic gas is unleashed on the US by our overseas enemies. On the surface this should be freakin' hilarious, but take a look at the trailer below and decide for yourself.

"ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction" will be a part of next week's After Dark Horrorfest 4.

Horror Headlnes: Thursday January 14th, 2009

Although it really comes as no surprise, director Ivan Reitman has been confirmed for Ghostbusters 3 However, you are permitted to remain skeptical.

Do you like Rob Zombie? Do you like "CSI: Miami." If so, you're in for a treat. Apparently, Zombie is scheduled to lense an episode of the popular television series later this year. I'm trembling with anticipation. Yawn.

The American trailer for "Creep" director Christopher Smith's upcoming horror/thriler "Triangle" has finally appeared online. The DVD is currently slated for release on February 2nd.

In Real People News: 

If an attractive woman suddenly begins feeding you milkshakes, you may want double-check that you're not being poisoned. They should make PSAs for this sort of thing.

I don't think this one needs a setup: In Turkey, a sheep has given birth to a lamb with a human face. Insert Aphex Twin music here.

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