WTF?!

I do not have any freakin clue what "Machete" is about but I'm not sure that really matters. From what I can tell Danny Trejo plays a guy who is "double crossed" and then starts cutting people up. Then Cheech Marin, who plays a priest, mind you, decides he wants to help so he blows up some cars. Then Jessica Alba comes out and does some really bad acting. Then Lindsay Lohan dresses up like a nun and shoots people in the face. Oh and Steven Seagal and Don Johnson are there too. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it doesn't really matter.

Sometimes a film comes along and makes you sit up and take notice. A film that redefines the way we watch movies. A movie so brilliant and beautiful that you get a little misty just thinking about it. After watching the trailer for "Big Tits Zombie 3D" I'm going to officially remove Japan from ever being eligible to make such a film. I know it's wrong to disqualify an entire country based on one movie, but take a look at the trailer below and try to tell me I'm wrong.

This week the gang heads off to a weekend long couples counseling session so we decided to finally post the much talked about "Deadgirl" episode which was recorded about two months back.

Not going to lie, when I first saw the trailer for "Birdemic: Shock and Terror" I thought it was a joke. Honestly a month later I'm still not sure it isn't but there's a new trailer and a list of screenings available now so this sucker has gone legit. God help us.

A platoon of eagle & vultures attack the residence of a small town. Many people died. It's not known what caused the flying menace to attack. Two people managed to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic?

If you're not familiar with the upcoming film "The Human Centipede (First Sequence)" then you're in for one hell of a Monday morning. In short the movie revolves around a mad doctor who is obsessed with the idea of creating a living human centipede by sowing peoples mouths to other peoples asses. Take a sip of your coffee and think about that for a few seconds. Did you just throw up? If not then you're a sicko too.

I'm a sucker for horror movies that look like they're just porn films with all the sex cut out. What can I say, I'm only human. "Muckman" seems to be just such a film. Rubber suits, terrible CGI and women wrestling in a pond for no apparent reason. These are only three of the reasons I plan on giving this movie a chance.

The story is simple. A TV crew searches the woods for the fabled Muckman and have some seriously shitty results when they find him. But I got a sneaky suspicion that there's more the Muckman then meets the eye. Could he have a heart? I can't wait to find out!

This week we take on "Blood Creek", a Horse-riding Nazi Vampire Viking Mummy movie directed by Joel Schumacher. No, seriously.