WTF?!

Aliens are sucking people into the sky, while this movie is sucks the intelligence from your brain.

If you watch enough low budget horror movies you start to ask yourself if the people making these films actually think they're making art or they're just trying to get girls naked on film. "Zombie Christ" is that kind of movie and after watching it I'm 99% sure I know what the answer is. Alright to be fair this movie may have also been made to get someone's friend's band in a film. In any case, mission accomplished.

When director Samuel Fuller was wrapping up filming on “White Dog” in 1982, Paramount Pictures became concerned that the film could offend black audiences and sent two consultants to review the film. One of the consultants considered the film inflammatory and offensive and two weeks before the end of filming Fuller was given a list of changes to be made to the movie. In the end, Paramount chose not to give the film an American theatrical release. It wouldn’t receive an official release until 2008, when the Criterion Collection released a special edition DVD of the film. Insulted by the experience, Fuller, one of the most acclaimed genre directors of the 20th century, moved to France and never made another American film.

“A Serbian Film” starts off with a young boy inadvertently watching a porn film starring his father and from there it gets worse. So much worse. So bad that by the time the end credits roll that creepy opening scene seems light-hearted in comparison to the waking nightmare you’ve just witnessed. If you are at all considering watching “A Serbian Film” you should be warned that you will see things that you can not unsee and these are things that, for the sake of all that is good and cuddly in the world, I sincerely hope that you most certainly do not want to see.

The time has come folks, this week the crew hunkers down and watches "The Human Centipede (First Sequence)". Directed by Mr. Tom Six the film has been all a buzz for the past few months with the hip kids on the playground because of it's seriously f'ed up plot. If you don't know about the film yet then you're in for a treat.

I do not have any freakin clue what "Machete" is about but I'm not sure that really matters. From what I can tell Danny Trejo plays a guy who is "double crossed" and then starts cutting people up. Then Cheech Marin, who plays a priest, mind you, decides he wants to help so he blows up some cars. Then Jessica Alba comes out and does some really bad acting. Then Lindsay Lohan dresses up like a nun and shoots people in the face. Oh and Steven Seagal and Don Johnson are there too. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it doesn't really matter.