WTF?!

Being a fan of both "The Thing" and "The Blob" -- the originals and remakes -- it's safe to say that I have a taste for cheesy science fiction-horror hybrids featuring either large flesh-eating blobs or body-possessing alien lifeforms. Perhaps that's why the trailer for John Lechago's upcoming gorefest "Bio Slime" appeals to me in ways I'm really not comfortable discussing in a public forum such as this. Nevermind the apparent low budget or the shot-on-digital look of the film -- all I'm after is goo, body melting, and campy performances.

I’m all for technological advances. The sooner I can get a Rosie the robot to clean my house the better. But the Pentagon has gone too far this time. They’ve commissioned a Maryland based technology group to create a steam powered robot that can fuel itself by eating up different organic material. Grass, wood, oil and even human bodies are all on the menu. That’s right folks, corpse eating robots.

Jason Eisener’s “Treevenge” has been getting some serious attention since it showed up on the scene back in 08. Along the way it’s picked up awards at the New York City Horror Film Fest, Toronto After Dark Festival, San Francisco Independent Film Festival and a bunch of other well known festivals. Well now “Treevenge” is available online for all to enjoy. This 16 minute film shows what happens when your Christmas trees get fed up and decides to fight back. It’s Christmas in July people!

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more f’ed up comes along sometime like “The Human Centipede”. Written and directed by Dutch filmmaker Tom Six the film will be making it’s debut in August at the Film4 Frightfest in London.

In an attempt to lower the number of fatal traffic accidents, a safe driving campaign in New Zealand erected a billboard of a child's face that bleeds when it rains. Supposedly, it has been successful in reducing the death toll but there's no word on how many accidents have been caused by people driving past and gawking at the freaky possessed billboard.

In this strange world we live in, there's news of the weird and news of the "seriously? no fucking way"! Earlier in the week, the good lord took Lucha minis La Parkita and El Espectrito, but not in a way that would warrant a tearful 10-bell salute.

If director Rob Marshall's 2005 endeavor "Memoirs of a Geisha" was too frilly for your liking, may I boldly suggest an alternative. Noboru Iguchi's "RoboGeisha," powered by the team responsible for "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police," looks positively insane, even by my standards Flesh-eating breast milk, deadly fried shrimp, breast cannons, hip swords, and a plethora of other visual insanities await those brave enough to dive face-first into this remarkably silly picture.

Weren’t we just talking about this? In the wake of the news about the virtual concert lighters for the iPhone, disgust ranged widely. Personally, I was enraged by the very existence of a virtual lighter, while others couldn’t believe the nerve of KISS frontman Gene Simmons, to put the KISS logo on it and have the temerity to charge money for the product.