twilight

Vampires Suck (REVIEW)

Submitted by Casey on Thursday, Aug 12th 2010

Satires are a delicate beast. They have to walk a fine line between capturing the original story and lampooning their subject with well crafted humor that is pertinent to the source. Sadly, in the realm of horror comedies, this fine art was mostly thrown to the wayside a long time ago.

I'll be upfront and honest here; I've never seen the source material that "Vampires Suck" has sunk it's teeth into. I don't have any intentions to watch the "Twilight" films any time soon, either, so there is a chance that some of the humor here is completely lost on me.

Fright Rags Debuts Twilight Shirt, Are You On Team David?

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Jun 30th 2010

All the big Twilight fans have picked sides by now. All the kids who like beefy werewolves have picked Jacob and anyone who enjoys crying themselves to sleep with eyeliner on have picked Edward. But what about us who don't wear black nail polish? Who do we pick!? Well the good people over at Fright Rags have offered up an option for us. Team David! As in David from everyone's favorite 80's vampire flick "The Lost Boys". And from the shirts design it looks like David is pissed.

Horror Headlines: Monday June 14th, 2010

Submitted by Casey on Monday, Jun 14th 2010

Hollywood loves its unnecessary remakes, so it shouldn't be too surprising that they are looking at Pascal Laugeir's "Martyrs" for the official treatment. What is surprising is that "Twilight" producer Wyck Godfrey is looking at Kristin Stewart to headline.

Breck Eisner thrilled us all with his remake of "The Crazies" and is moving on to some non-horror related fare such as "Escape From New York" and "Flash Gordon". He'll be making his way back to the horror work though as he has taken on the rights to the classic Dracula comic "Blood of the Innocent".

Joe Lynch's upcoming horror comedy "The Knights of Badassdom" just got a whole lot hotter as "Firefly" alum Summer Glau signs on to the cast.

Need some more Sam and Dean Winchester in your life? You better hope so as Warner Brothers Japan is preparing 22 episode "Supernatural: The Animation"! Details on the new show are scarce at this time, but the official site talks of recreating some of the fan favorite episodes of the series as well as some new adventures mixed in.

In Real People News:

A 16 year old British boy is heading to juvie for four months after microwaving his brother's 1 year old Golden Hamster.

A Wilton man is sentenced to five years in prison after hitting and killing a motorcycle rider in a case of drugged up driving. Despite the happy news of a man getting his just deserts for his crimes, the true horror is the charges of tampering with evidence after he drank his own urine to keep it from being tested for drugs while in the hospital.

On this day in history:

1648 - Midwife Margaret Jones is hanged in Boston for witchcraft. It is the first such execution for the Massachusetts colony, but not the first in the colonies.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 2nd, 2010

Submitted by Casey on Wednesday, Jun 2nd 2010

If you've ever found yourself wondering how best to survive such things as unstoppable serial killers, zombies or any other supernatural force, be sure to check out How To Survive the Strange. The first episode told us the handy uses of your standard claw hammer, the second episode tells you how you can use ESP to fix household appliances!

Summit Entertainment is branching off a bit from its money printing "Twilight" franchise as it signs on for "Golden Gate". Said to be in the vein of such films as "Single White Female", we see a track star who has found herself a new girlfriend, only to find out that she's just a wee bit insane.

Katee Sackhoff is preparing for a post "Battlestar" appearance as pictures from her upcoming werewolf vs. Fight Club feature "Growl" appear online. Though the idea of Chuck Liddell Vs. The Wolfman is indeed entertaining, the director's name Sxv'Leithan Essex sounds by far more intriguing.

Mellissa George is preparing to thrill us once again as the official Facebook page and first shots from her new feature "A Lonely Place to Die" appears on line. Ms. George and a few of her friends head to the Scottish Highlands for some hiking fun only to find themselves wrapped up in a kidnapping plot? Sounds like fun to me.

In Real People News:

One could say that Tuesday was a bad day in China as a a security guard mows down a court room after his divorce settlement was judged, a woman on an overnight train stabbed nine passengers with a piece of metal as they slept and a man drove his truck into a group of workers in order to stop them from demolishing homes in his neighborhood.

A group of Indian scientists believe that the world's bee population is dying off due to radiation from mobile telephones and not an M. Night Shyamalan prophecy for the end of the world. Guess I lost THAT bet.

On this day in history:

1996 - Ray Combs, host of television's Family Feud, hangs himself with his bedsheets at Glendale Adventist Hospital. Combs was on a 72 hour suicide watch.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 26th, 2010

Submitted by Casey on Wednesday, May 26th 2010

Universal Pictures "The Thing" prequel has gained some muscle as Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje signs on to the cast. You may know Mr. Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Mr. Eko from ABC's "Lost" or as Simon Abedisi in HBO's "Oz".

"Buried" director Rodrigo Cortes is starting to turn Hollywood heads despite the fact that his first film hasn't even been released yet. Signing on for his next project, the director will be tackling "Red Lights", a paranormal thriller involving the human brain. He continues to draw the star power as well with Sigourney Weaver signed on to star.

Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, the film makers responsible for the likes of "Date Movie" and "Epic Movie" are aiming their sights on "Twilight" for their next sendup. Could this be the first of their movies that people actually flock to see?

In case you were one of the three people looking forward to CBS Film's "Beastly" this July, I have bad news for you; the darker rendition of "Beauty and the Beast" has been bumped from its July 30th release date.

In Real People News:

An Italian teacher decided he had had enough of students wearing their low slung jeans to school so he took it upon himself to show them how ridiculous it looked. For some reason, he decided thatdropping his pants in front of his class would be the best way to do it.

Those crazy teens are at it again as they've invented a new way to get trashed. Called 'eyeballing', the kids have taken to speeding up their intoxication by pouring vodka into their eyes and letting the alcohol be absorbed.

On this day in history:

1897 - The first copies of the classic vampire novel Dracula, by Irish writer Bram Stoker, appear in London bookshops on this day in 1897.

"New Moon" in Under a Minute

Submitted by Casey on Wednesday, Dec 2nd 2009

Dying to know what all the fuss is about, but can't bare to be seen in line at the ticket counter? Then here's "New Moon" for you in a nut shell!

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 1st, 2009

Submitted by Casey on Thursday, Oct 1st 2009

"Walking Dead" author Robert Kirkman sat down with MTV to talk about the TV version of the show, to be directed by Fran Darabont. In the interview Kirkman discusses fans' fears of a lack of gore on AMC, but he has faith in Darabont, who he says understands the story 100%.

Are you over the whole "Twilight" flavor of vampire teen romance? Fear not, as Unique Features has picked up the film rights to Maggie Stiefvater's "Shiver", a teen werewolf romance novel. There's enough love to go around!

Lionsgate has released a slew of promo stills from their latest batch of Ghost House Underground films. Included in the bunch are a new Jack Ketchum adaptation as well as "Blair Witch" maestro Eduardo Sanchez's "Seventh Moon".

In Real People News:

Have you eaten breakfast yet? You may want to wait. Doctors in Bhiwandi discover over 40 housefly maggots in the nose of a 70 year old woman while investigating her mysterious 3-day nosebleed. Good morning!

As a retaliation for 10 years of abuse from his iron worker father, a Thai teen chops off his father's hands while he sleeps. There's probably a Bobbit joke to be made here, but I'll leave that alone.

Not to be outdone, this Colorado teen shot his father in the back of the head after being raped by the man. He then dismembered his body and fed the remains to local Coyotes.

On this day in history:

1910 – A large bomb destroys the Los Angeles Times building in downtown Los Angeles, California, killing 21.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 2nd, 2009

Submitted by Eric on Tuesday, Jun 2nd 2009

Universal teams up with toymaker Mattel for a "live-action Monster Musical". Um... okay?

I'm actually pretty proud that it took me nearly two days to realize that "Twilight" won best movie at the MTV Movie Awards this weekend. If you also didn't know, consider yourselves lucky.

Gore Verbinski says he's pretty much off of "Bioshock", mainly because he doesn't think his schedule will allow him to shoot outside of the US for a year and a half, which will pretty much be a requirement due to the film's logistics and budget.

International trailer for "Train", the remake of "Terror Train" that it turns out isn't a remake but still has "Train" in the name. Got all that? I'm glad, because it was probably the most pointless sentence I've ever written.

Lionsgate is moving forward with a 3D remake of the 80's film "Happy Birthday To Me". The original is a fairly classic 80's slasher with a mess of an ending, that most people seem to love. I was a little peeved. Either way, it will probably make for pretty simple fair to remake.

In Real People News:

High School teen in trouble for eating pig testicles on a dare. I know that animal testicles are eaten in certain parts of the country, but not like this. The kid ate the nuts off of a fetal pig, that had been soaking in FORMALDEHYDE. So, now you see how that may pose a problem.

This just in, Michael Jackson is afraid his nose is going to fall off.

This is a giant fucking pig. God damn.

On this day in history:

1793: Jean-Paul Marat recites names of 29 people to the French Assembly, virtually all of whom will be guillotined. Over the next year 17,000 will be executed in the Reign of Terror.

Horror Headlines: Thursday April 23rd, 2009

Submitted by Eric on Thursday, Apr 23rd 2009

Brace yourself. David Slade, director of "30 Days of Night", will be directing the third film in the "Twilight" franchise, subtitled "Eclipse". Uh... what? Slade has not made a statement yet, but I'm sure someone is tracking him down right now to ask him what the hell he's thinking.

Rumors are that Rooney Mara is in final negotiations to play "Nancy" in the remake of "A Nightmare on Elm St." No confirmation yet, but the source seems reliable from what I read at the link.

The director of "S. Darko" says he's in the process of remaking the 1978 film "The Eyes of Laura Mars". That may be the most obscure sentence I've ever written.

"Chaos Experiment" is about a scientist working on a theory that humanity will devolve into violence by 2012 due to global warming, and attempting to prove that by locking a bunch of half-naked people in a sauna. Not exactly the most scientific experiment, but it is a really good way for filmmakers to force their stars to be in their underwear for 90 minutes.

A body cast of Arnold Schwarzenegger, taken at the time of the first "Terminator" film, is being used to create a fully functional CGI character of Arnie for "Terminator Salvation". THAT, should be interesting.

"Wolverine" producer looking for a writer so she can make a "Constantine" sequel. Huh, I'm one of the few that enjoyed the first "Constantine", and that sentence STILL makes my head hurt.

In Real People News:

Police detonate a bag full of cans because they were worried there was a bomb inside, turns out it was just full of shit. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

What would you do if you found a mummified cat in the walls of your house while renovating? Apparently if you're these people, the answer is "put it back".

On this day in history:

1951: Lenny Bruce is arrested in Miami Beach, Florida for fraudulently soliciting funds for a leper colony while dressed as a priest.

Twilight, With Puppets

Submitted by Eric on Friday, Apr 3rd 2009

If you read the title than you pretty much know what you're getting with this video. It's "Twilight"... with puppets. Really, any more explanation will just ruin the effect. So check it out, because it's damn funny.