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Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 3rd, 2009

The director of "Ultraviolet" has been tapped to write and direct the remake of "Total Recall". The film will not go back to the original source material, Phillip K. Dick's novel "We Can Remember it For You Wholesale", but will rather be a direct remake of the film.

So I'm sitting here, wondering to myself, how you call this a remake of "Scream" when in the announcement you discuss getting original actors back in their original roles. Isn't that just... you know... a sequel?

I can't possibly be the only one who's a tad uncomfortable by Elizabeth Shue's giant muscles from this paprazzi pic on the set of "Piranha 3d", could I?

The lovely Courtney Ford, who should be familiar to you from the highly recommended scifi romp "Alien Raiders", has just joined Season 4 of the hit Showtime series "Dexter". She will play "a reporter who crosses paths with our favorite forensics expert/serial killer, Dexter Morgan".

Reports are coming in that the first trailer for "The Final Destination" will be landing in some theaters this Friday. So keep your eyes peeled when you go back to see "Drag Me To Hell" for the fourth time, k?

In Real People News: 

Woman loses 95 pounds over 8 months by restricting her diet to only 13-15 Red Bull's a day, has a heart attack. Bummer, you were THIS close. Doctors also claim she went through "widthdrawals" while in the hospital, typically seen in hardcore drug addicts.

Thank God I never have to worry about having my corpse cut up so it will fit inside a coffin because I'm too tall. No, I suppose all I have to worry about is being stuffed into a box with another short person to try and save space. Ah shit, that doesn't sound very fun either.

On this day in history: 

1791: The French Assembly passes a resolution bringing decapitation to the common criminal: "Every person condemned to the death penalty shall have his head severed."

Horror Headlines: Friday May 29th, 2009

Sam Raimi's latest horror film "Drag Me To Hell" opens everywhere today.

A look at H.G. Lewis' "Grim Fairy Tale", with interview and the first set of stills from the film. Looks like some splattery fun to me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I might require some "alone time" with the "Jennifer's Body" comic. That is all.

In Real People News: 

This is an X-Ray of a bullet lodged in someone's face for over 40 years. Not sure why she wanted it removed now, but it will make for one hell of a souvenir.

On this day in history: 

1806: Dueling over a horse racing wager, future President Andrew Jackson takes a bullet in the chest from fellow lawyer Charles Dickinson. The slug shatters two ribs and buries itself near his heart. Then it is Jackson's turn to fire, which manages to sever an artery and kill his opponent.

Horror Headline: Monday May 18th, 2009

Little advice... when you hear a movie scoop that's on a site you've never heard of, chances are it's not true. Which would be why we didn't report on the potential "Hannibal" sequel that everyone else was all over this weekend. Turns out it only took a day or two to prove it false, with more info on the whole situation at the link.

Teaser posters for "Humpty Dumpty", about an alien who takes revenge on some rednecks who abuse his mother. Why the title? Well, the posters seem to explain that, at least sort of. "Humpty Dumpty" is being directed by "Final Destination 2" and "Snakes on a Plane" helmer David R. Ellis.

12 more stills from "Drag Me To Hell". The basic gist: Unscary old lady, Justin Long with flippy hair, Alison Lohman looking pensive. There... you're all caught up.

According to a press release sent out at Cannes recently, the zombie film "Pontypool" may get a sequel within a years time. Should be interesting considering not too many people outside of the film festivals have even had a chance to see it yet!

Speaking of sequels, it turns out that there's legit interest in making a sequel to "Behind the Mask: Rise of Leslie Vernon". So much so that the original's writer and director are currently sitting down and hammering out the story. Expect an official announcement soon.

"Final Destination: Death Trip 3D" gets renamed to "THE Final Destination". See what they did there? Somewhere right now a studio executive is patting himself on the back.

In Real People News: 

A worker in Germany gets boiled alive in a soup vat. The company was a subsidiary of Campbell's. All I'm saying is, check that chicken and stars extra careful this afternoon.

Teen uses banana to try and rob internet cafe, gets caught, eats banana while waiting for police to arrive. I'm not even sure where to start on that story, folks.

Sony Pictures CEO said at a conference to discuss the future of filmmaking recently, he is a guy who "doesn't see anything good having come from the internet". A bold statement, especially coming from the guy who was responsible for "Prom Night".

On this day in history: 

1936: Tokyo gangster Kichizo Ishida is accidentally strangled by his mistress during a session of rough sex. Ishida had been a "gasper," someone who enjoys the sexual effects of asphyxiation. The woman, Sada Abe, indulged him by wrapping her pink kimono belt around his neck. After her lover's death, Abe cuts off Ishida's penis and scrotum with a meat cleaver and carries them around until she is finally arrested, three days later.

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