fowler fridays

This Wednesday, the newest Harry Potter movie grossed over $50 million dollars. When I hear news like that, it makes me feel like not only are we not in an economic depression, but that we all lead comfortable enough lives to take a day off—a Wednesday, no less—and see a movie. Can't do that in, say, Iran, right?

David Arquette has confirmed that he and his pet shrew Courtney Cox are in Scream 4, no matter what pile of stank that writer Kevin Williamson turns in. I'm still holding out for Ready 2 Rumble 2 to be filmed in his backyard with the stars of the Juggalo Championship Wrestling Federation , which I just learned existed. Rowdy Roddy Piper is a member. I have no faith left in humanity. Or at least the wrestling part of humanity.

I'm a huge fan of the Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man. Huge fan. I had a poster of it on my wall for the longest time. So, when I heard that they had started production on the sequel, I literally creamed my jeans. Just picture: all that cream, filling my jeans, pouring out of the legs and leaving a huge damp spot. But, that sweet jean creamery was short-lived, as, once I had read further in the story, I learned that they are quasi-sequelizing the original 1973 cult film starring Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward. The plot for the film, which has something to do with Christian musicians, sadly, does not include anything about Nick Cage coming back to the island in a beekeeper's outfit and a flamethrower, ready to kick some matriarchal ass. Unless it's the twist ending, in which case, BEST MOVIE EVER!

Over at our distinguished competition, Dread Central, they have announced that, along with something called Home Media Magazine, that they are launching the “Reaper Awards”. The “judges” are veritable who's who in the horror mag/blog community—so they're no one important in real life—and they promise to “honor horror films as they are meant to be seen – raw and uncensored.” For a preview of this year's “best picture” winner, keep watching the sidebars and pop-ups of Dread Central for who ever is paying for the most ad-space—so far the winner is “The Unborn”, which is now available on DVD!

Earlier this week, Eric reported about Stephen Norrington and his upcoming re-imagining/remake/redux/reboot of “The Crow”. Apparently, in addition to that, him and Stephen Dorff are working on a prequel to “Blade”—a prequel trilogy, no less—featuring the origin and history of, no, not Blade, but Deacon Frost, the good-looking hipster vamp played by Dorff in the first film. That's like creating a trilogy based around the history of, say, Doctor Octopus before he became Doctor Octopus. Mark my words: this movie will never, ever get made. If anything, it was probably just some late-night pillow talk between Norrington and Dorff. But they can dream...

Merry Old England is releasing their first ever 3-D horror film, titled, whimsically enough, “Elfie Hopkins and the Gammons”. Based on the British novel “I Gots Gribblesnorts In Me Pockets!”, filmgoers will thrill to the sight of Shepard's Pie, bad teeth, the loss of the original thirteen colonies, Margaret Thatcher and a skinhead soccer hooligan coming right off the screen and head-butting them in patented “Fook Off You Wanker-vision!” The first two-hundred viewers will also get a free Dixie Cup of warm, stale Guinness.

As you may know, coming straight to video is “Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever” and apparently “Hostel Part 3”. While frat-splat director Eli Roth will not be involved with these sequels, he'll completely admit to “double-teaming some Kappa Pi bitch” at last weekend's “Sigma Epsilon Night to Remember Beer-Bash for Cystic Fibrosis”, which he sealed with a high-five and a “Fuck yeah, bro!” as he downed his sixth Natty L this morning. His eyebrows had no comment.