danny trejo

Horror Headlines: Thursday August 18th, 2011

Franck Khalfoun, who directed "P2" and apparently loves fedoras is being eyeballed to direct the remake of the much loved 1980 classic "Maniac". For those of you who are not up to date on the film it follows a serial killer who takes out his mommy issues on a bunch of women in NYC. Who can't relate to that.

Charisma Carpenter, who has no porn credits but I'm convinced has done them is teaming up with none other than Mr. Danny Trejo to star in a new Syfy original movie titled "Haunted High". The movie focuses on a High School that's being terrorized by a demon head master. Carpenter will play a hot teacher I assume, and I can't say what it I think Trejo will play because it would be racist. But it rhymes with "manitor".

I have no idea what "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" is about but everyone and their mother seems to be gaga over the books and excited about the movies. Now here's the first still from the film and I can officially confirm that I have no desire to know anything about this movie or book because I assume it's about crack whores with stupid face piercings I can not support that. If you do you hate freedom and apple pie.

Scott Ian is a guy you know from every shitty VH1 show where they reminisce about some crappy decade but may be surprised to know is actually in a band called Anthrax. Well now Scott's also a full fledged zombie because he's been transformed for "The Walking Dead" web series. He sounds really excited about it and blogged the crap about his experience with pics to boot so enjoy. Am I the only one who only liked John Bush era Anthrax? I can't be. Joey Belladonna's perm makes me uncomfortable.

In Real People News: 

Cops in Texas have arrested a man who reportedly broke into a woman's apartment and tried to eat her because he is a 500 year old vampire. Sounds insane I know but if it turns out he is a 500 year old vampire do you think they'll release him? I think they should.

Mother of a god. A registered sex offender is under arrest after he was reportedly punching women in their genitals at a Disney World Wave Pool. The happiest place on earth is nowhere to be punching genitals. That's just wrong. You take that kind of crap to Universal Studios where it belongs.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 8th, 2011

The world demanded it and the good people at Universal answered our prayers. I speak of course about "Death Race 3". While nothing has been confirmed there's word around campus that Paul W.S. Anderson will be writing the script for part 3 and Danny Trejo will return. Tanit Phoenix will also be back and that's exciting for all of us because according to IMDB she's played a stripper in about 8 movies and starred in something called "Kamasutra Nights". Let the Oscar buzz begin!

This afternoon I was down at the Manhole for lunch and the rumors flying around there are that none other than Paul Walker, Texas Ranger is in talks to play Kyle Reese in the much anticipated "Terminator 5". Of course that's not his real name but it would be awesome if it was. Anyway Justin Lin, who directed Walker in the last "Fast & Furious" movie is set to direct... I trust my fellow foodies down at The Manhole on this one. The lunch buffet is delicious, don't judge.

Years before Peter Jackson directed a 38 hour trilogy he directed a movie I actually liked called "The Frighteners" starring Michael J. Fox. And while three films that spawned a million pornos have been released in countless formats sadly "The Frighteners" has yet to make its way to Blu-Ray. Well good news kids, come September 13th you can get your grubby little mits on the flick with tons of special features and 0 wizards. Alright in all fairness the porn parodies are pretty decent. The visuals, you wouldn't believe!

Pultizer Prize winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire is being taken out for a lovely steak dinner by the people at MGM in the hopes that he will write the much discussed "Poltergeist" remake. No word on if he'll accept but if he orders dessert it's pretty much understood he has to, especially if it's the 3rd date.

In Real People News: 

A 48 year old father in Memphis is under arrest after threatening the host of a birthday party with a gun because she didn't save any ice cream and cake for his kids. Which is stressful for a number of reasons, namely that now I have to add a gun to the list of things I need to buy before I become a parent.

Let this be a lesson to all of you out there. If you're going to bite your girlfriend's ear off during an argument make sure your dentures are in securely. Because this guy in South Carolina who went a bite-in' and lost his chompers must have felt like a real prick when he had to explain the whole thing to a judge.

Netflix Streaming Friday - "From Dusk Till Dawn"

Vampires are all the rage these days. "Twilight", "True Blood", "Vampire Diaries", pretty much anywhere you turn, you can find something vampire related. Problem is, it pretty much all sucks.

Remember when vampires were cool? How they'd turn into giant bats and trick Winona Ryder into making out with another chick and a werewolf like in "Bram Stoker's Dracula"? Or when they were cursed African Princes with awesome wardrobes like in "Blacula"? Or hell, when they were played by guys Leslie Neilsen or Eddie Murphy? Yeah, those were the days.

Horror Headlines: Friday May 13th, 2011

I don't know how I missed this new movie called "Skinny Dip" that's starring Sasha Grey and Danny Trejo but a whole gang load of people have been added to the cast. Namely Pam Grier, Michael Madsen and Brigitte Nielsen. That last one being my favorite Girl Next Door. If you say Kendra you're a fool! Anyway, the movie is a throw back to the girls kicking ass movies of the 70's and 80's and based on that I think there's a solid chance we may see some hot Grey on Trejo action. I know, I just threw up too!

Low budget vampire horror comedy? How can this not be awesome!? "Vampires in Venice" is what we're talking about here and it's got a trailer up on the tubes for your viewing pleasure. Is it funny? No of course not, but that doesn't make the movie any less promising. Wait... no scratch that. I think that's exactly what it means.

A new poster for Troma's "Father's Day" is out there for your viewing pleasure and I"m giddy with delight. The movie which focuses on a man who rapes and kills fathers and the man trying to take him down comes out on June 19th. That's father's day in case you couldn't have guessed. You're a terrible person.

And because it's Friday the 13th and you really shouldn't go the entire day without seeing something really awful here's the first full trailer for the upcoming season 4 of "True Blood" that kicks off on June 26th. See you in hell folks.

In Real People News: 

A Florida woman was arrested on Tuesday after she whipped out her boobies in front of a school bus stop where a group of kids were standing. She was originally charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition but the charge was eventually downgraded but the judge, presumably because she's kind of hot.

A 20 year old Juggalo (yes I'm excited too) from Oklahoma has been arrested after he hit a person with his car and dragged him over 100 feet. Police are still trying to figure out what caused the crime but if I was a betting man I'd say it started over an argument about who likes rainbows more. And yes, he is wearing the face paint in his mug shot. Score!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 3rd, 2011

Katrina Bowden from "30 Rock" and "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil" is the latest hot chick to be added to the cast of "Piranha 3DD". As we all know Gary Busey was also added to the cast last week and while it hasn't been confirmed I think it's pretty obvious that we now know who will be involved in the movie's love story. I'd like to think the chemistry will find it's way off screen as well and we'll have Hollywood's next power couple.

"Cobra the Space Pirate" is some sort of Japanese animated series that I'm sure someone I went to college with told me was "completely insane" while I didn't get any action at a party, and for that reason alone I now hate it. But alas there's a movie being made about it and today we've got our first look at the poster for the flick. If it gets you excited you're only a little over 2 years away from it's summer 2012 release.

If you're anxiously awaiting the release of "Haunted 3D" then you're one step ahead of me because I've never heard of the damn thing until 10 minutes ago. But that doesn't matter because a handful of theaters will be showing India's first 3D flick this coming weekend. Of course none of the selected theaters are in major cities so you big wigs can suck it. Jersey's got 2 of the 8 selected locations!

Starting today you can get your grubby mits on "Call of Duty: Black Ops Escalation - Call of the Dead" via Xbox Live and to celebrate a new poster has hit the tubes for the game. In the Black Ops add on you can actually play as Robert Englund, Danny Trejo, Michael Rooker and Sarah Michelle Gellar and none other than George A. Romero is featured in the game as a zombie. Which is exciting because there's numerous movies I'd love to shoot him in the face for. Score!

In Real People News: 

A Florida man is being charged with assault after he beat the tar out of his neighbor with a baseball bat because they wouldn't turn down their music. While I can't condone the assault I have to say I had a neighbor once who could play Lisa Loeb at levels that by law shouldn't be allowed and I would have loved to have had a few cracks at him.

A young man in New Mexico made the mistake of shoving the prescription drugs he stole from a neighbor up his no-no hole and was found by police officers bleeding and disoriented. An x-ray later revealed the drugs and I assume the whole thing looked like the scene in "Total Recall" when they walk behind the giant body x-ray. But a lot sexier of course.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 27th, 2011

I am not the least bit ashamed to admit that fluids shot out of every hole in my body when I read the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger has officially signed on to do a new "Terminator" movie. No screenwriter or director has been confirmed but Justin Lin has been rumored to be taking the camera for the flick. Oh mother of god the fluids!

2011 has already been a stellar year for the homeless and now everyone's favorite movie "Hobo With a Shotgun" is coming home to DVD and Blu-Ray. July 5th will be the date you can get your grubby little fingerless gloved mits on the 2 disc DVD or Blu-Ray that features all kinds of interviews, commentaries and other filthy treasures. Catch the hobo fever!

We're going 3 for 3 in the awesome news department kids because Steve Austin and Danny Trejo have both signed on to battle in "Recoil". Austin will play former cop who goes on a rampage after his family is murdered by a group of criminals. Trejo will of course play one of the criminals, because stereotypes are there for a reason and that reason is to help casting in films move along quickly.

Well they can't all be zingers my friends. Chris Landon is once again confirmed to be partnering up with Michael Perry to write "Paranormal Activity 3" after there were rumors that he had dropped out of the project. The duo wrote the previous film in the series and while they haven't promised it, I'm hoping will once again cast a rampaging pool cleaner. Keep your fingers crossed.

In Real People News: 

A 29 year old Roseville man is being charged with murder after he went nuts and started driving on a Minneapolis sidewalk, killing 1 and injuring 2. The incident apparently stems from an argument that started in a nearby bar and I assume had something to do with who is the better "Grand Theft Auto" player.

How the hell do you not think you're going to get caught urinating on cough drops at a Walgreens? There are practically video cameras everywhere these days and anywhere there isn't there's some prick taking video with his camera phone. You take cough drops into the men's room to piss on them! Everyone knows that's the only safe place.

Horror Headlines: Monday February 21st, 2011

"Dead Island", the soon to be released open world video game that's super hot right now, has already had it's screen rights scooped up and the word around campus is a movie is inevitable. I'm sure by next month a sequel will already be announced and a hot new clothing line will be in stores. Can't wait.

Stephen Kay is the fella who brought you "Boogyman" and the "The Craigslist Killer" TV movie has a new flick coming out called "Isolation" and it's got a new trailer for your peepers. The clip features a hospital, some medical advice I'm fairly sure is inaccurate and a girl who looks like the girl from "Big Bang Theory". This all sounds like the perfect storm of awful.

If you had to name the most perfect cast ever imagined what would it be? WRONG! The correct answer is Kobe Bryant, Danny Trejo, Bruce Willis and Kanye West. Luckily for the world these guys are all in the new Robert Rodriguez short film titled "The Black Mamba". You're welcome, world.

"Errors of the Human Body" is the title of my video montage features photos of me from High School and also a new thriller about a scientist who does some creepy crap with fish or something. A bunch of new stills and poster for the flick has hit the nets and I don't know what to think. Please tell me.

In Real People News: 

Let this be a lessen to you fellas. Never dare your girlfriend to shoot you in the face, because there's a 95% chance she will. This woman in Florida did it and your wife or girlfriend will too. I promise you that. Deep down inside I have no doubt that she absolutely hates the look of your face.

Is it really considered a dine n dash if you leave behind your 12 year old daughter? I mean it was Bonefish Grill so I assume the bill was a little steep, fish aint cheap, people! Maybe she got an appetizer and should have left a second child or something. I don't know. All this crap seems to happen in Florida though.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 9th, 2010

Big news kids! "The Walking Dead" has been picked up for a second season and I've also completed this big ass puzzle I've been working on for months. The first part of that is probably the news you want to pay attention to. But seriously, that puzzle was a giant f'er, lots of blue and stuff.

A release date for the long awaited remake of Troma's "Mothers Day" has finally been announced. In a bold move the film will be released on April 11th, a full month before the real Mother's Day. Well played big wigs, well played.

The trailer for Uwe Boll's latest film "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich" has finally hit the tubes. It's a vampire hunter flick based on a video game that's set in Nazi Germany. The fact that Boll is German doesn't make that weird at all.

By a show of hands, who wants to see Danny Trejo fight a monster created by a drug lord. Just as I thought! Everyone in America wants to see that, everyone! You're welcome, here's "Project X23". Now, who wants to see the government give me a giant swimming pool filled with beer?

In Real People News: 

I don't care if it rains or freezes long as I have the world's largest Jesus! Thanks Poland, you've done it again!

I usually just wear my "These Colors Don't Run" t-shirt to get out of jury duty but this guy has topped me. An Ohio man was excused after he reveled he was a childhood friend of Jeffrey Dahmer. Yup, that'll do it.

On this day in history: 

1888 – Jack the Ripper kills Mary Jane Kelly, his last known victim.

Horror Headlines: Friday September 17th, 2010

Danny Trejo and Erin Cummings are rumored to star in the biker gang revenge flick "Tarantula". Is it weird that I have a man crush on a 60+ year old ex-con? Yeah I thought so. Oh and don't think I didn't notice the last name Cummings.

There's a new clip out there for the upcoming "I Spit on Your Grave" remake and it's a real hoot. I've yet to figure out why this remake needed to happen but I have to say the cast really got the whole creepy white trash thing down. That's a plus, right? Right?

For the kids in the Los Angeles area you've got a chance to see the Stephen King classic "Maximum Overdrive" on the big screen. This film's got killer trucks, Lisa Simpson and a soda machine that hates guys balls so there's really no reason not to love it.

A new clip from "Dexter" Season 5 has found it's way online and I couldn't be more giddy about it. The news season premiers on September 26th and I've already got my special order of 50 wings in for that night. That really has nothing to do with the show I just really like wings... a lot.

In Real People News: 

A 33 inch tall cow in London has been declared the worlds smallest by the Guinness World Records. 33 inches London? Really? If you guys can't get your cows all jacked up on growth hormones like ours than what CAN you do?

On this day in history: 

1862 - Union forces hurled back a Confederate invasion of Maryland in the Civil War battle of Antietam. With 23,100 killed, wounded or captured, it remains the bloodiest day in U.S. military history.

Episode 132 - "Machete"

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This week we debate the finer points of how to best pronounce "Machete", and the possible attractiveness of a certain fiery Latina.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

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