American Horror Story

I've never seen an episode of "Lost" but I know people are nutso for it and I know the final episode was crap. I think that's enough for me. But the rest of the interwebs might be excited to learn that Elizabeth Mitchell is once again teaming up with J.J. Abrams for a new show titled "Revolution." Mitchell will play a loving mother on the show that focuses on a family that must reunite in a post-apocalyptic world. Andrea Roth was originally set to play the role and she was on "Rescue Me" which is a show I did watch and no one hated the last episode of so I disagree with this move.

Olly Blackburn has replaced Gary Fleder in the director role in the upcoming Dimension Films slasher flick "Kristy." The film focuses on a young girl who stays in her college dorm over Thanksgiving break and finds herself stalked by 4 masked men. You might remember Olly Blackburn as the director of 2008's "Donkey Punch." I remember him as the guy who directed a movie I thought was a porn but actually turned out to be just a bunch of rich kids on a boat doing drugs and killing each other.

"Smiley" is a new horror film about a serial killer that can be summoned through the internet and actually looks not too shabby. Sort of. This isn't the news here though. The news is that the film will receive an October 11th release date via something called Tugg, Inc. which allows people to vote on what movies will be available at their local theaters. I don't know how that works so I'm not going to bother trying to explain. The film will also be available for viewing on the movie's website in both a PG-13 and R rated form. Later on it will also be available on VOD, DVD and Blu-Ray. Even later on though it will be available via interpretive dance performed by a local group of elderly tap dancers with hearts of gold.

If you saw "Shark night 3D" and thought "I really hope to see more of these actors sometime soon" then you're in luck because Chris Zylka, who was also on 2 episodes of "Hannah Montana", has been added to the cast of the second season of "American Horror Story". No word as to what role he'll be playing and honestly who cares. The guy fought sharks, in 3D, anything he does is gold baby. Gold!

"Chuck" star Yvonne Strahovski has just been added to the cast of season 7 of "Dexter", bringing the show's Australian quotient officially up to par with 1. She'll play a young lass helping the Miami PD solve a homicide case while peaking Dexter's interest in her past. She'll also provide the entire cast with a direct line to delicious bloomin onions.

French director Alain DesRochers has been tapped by the good folks at Millennium Films and Nu Image to direct their upcoming vampire flick "The Rising". The script follows a group of mercenaries as they travel around the jungles of Cambodia looking for missing persons. As you might of guessed they run into some vampires. Because they call it a vampire film. Now that I think of it though it would be a great twist if there wasn't a single vampire in the film.

Paramount has just picked up the rights to Libba Bray's young adult novel "The Diviners". The book takes place in the 1920's and follows a group of youngsters with secret powers as they battle the forces of evil in NYC. They also do the jitterbug I assume. Everyone did the jitterbug in the 20's.

Joseph Fiennes, of "hey that guy looks like Ali G" fame has been added to the cast of the second season of "American Horror Story". Fiennes will play the head of a institution for the criminally insane where Jessica Lange's character works. Word is there will also be some romance in the air. Some old lady on middle aged man romance. The kind of romance that makes you a little uncomfortable and kind of sick.

The nice old man from "Babe" AKA James Cromwell has joined the cast of Season 2 of "American Horror Story". He'll play a doctor who goes to battle with his boss, played by Jessica Lange. Am I the only one who just got hungry for some bacon? I can't be.

Guillermo del Toro recently look to his blog to drop the science on why "At the Mountains of Madness" probably isn't happening any time soon. Now I'm confused as hell after reading his explanation but I'll try to explain here. It seems because "Prometheus" and the Alien saga in general is so heavily influenced by HP Lovecraft the camp putting ATMOM together thinks it's not a good idea to push it forward. I don't fully get it but maybe someone else can explain it to me. Also please explain how babies get made.

I don't want to piss in your Wheaties but in a recent interview Anna Faris reveiled that she will most likly not be a part of "Scary Movie 5". I know. I'm taking this pretty hard also. If they dare make a "The House Bunny 2" without her I swear to god I'll shoot someone in the face.

"Wolf Creek" mastermind Greg McLean is taking time off from giving out handies for spare change to fund a sequel to take the directing role on a new film titled "Kill Me Three Times". The film follows a woman in an Australian surfing town who is the link between three different stories of murder, revenge and blackmail. I was just kidding about the handies thing. I'm pretty sure he's just asking people for money. I mean he might be giving handies I don't know. What I'm saying here is I can neither deny nor confirm that "Wolf Creek 2" is being funded by a prostitution ring.

No one likes the French. Nobody. So news that French actress Lizzie Brochere has joined the cast of season 2 of "American Horror Story" is bitter sweet. Bitter, because she's French and sweet because... I can't really think of anything actually. Croissants are pretty good. Let's go with that.

Woman hate Angelina Jolie because she seems like a jerk and she broke up Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and while some won't admit it every man on earth loves her for the same reason. I'm done lying! So the world will love/hate the news that she's in talks to play a small role in the upcoming Ridley Scott film "The Counselor". The film is about a big time lawyer who tries his hand at the drug game with not so sexy results. Have you seen her tattoos? She's probably a lot more fun than Aniston. You can't argue science.

Robert Kirkman, the guy who created the magical comic book "The Walking Dead" has landed himself another AMC show titled "Thief of Thieves". Based on the comic of the same name the story focuses on a master thief who trying to reconnect with his estranged wife and son while trying to keep his life legit. That's the first season. In the second season not much happens and everyone on the internet bitches about it. Just a guess.

Uwe Boll has set his eyes on freedom with his next project. The film is called "Bailout" and will set its sights on how the economic crisis has affected the average American family. I think this sounds great. mostly because that guy could kick my ass in a boxing match.

Some more details on what we can expect from season 2 of "American Horror Story" are flooding the tubes. It looks like Ryan Murphy, the shows creator, is on the hunt for a Angelina Jolie in "Girl Interrupted" to battle with Jessica Lange in the upcoming season. I've never seen that movie but I do own a copy of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and if it's anything like that I think we've got a winner.

Oh boy oh boy! Showtime has officially dropped the premier date for season 7 of "Dexter" and what a date it is! September 30th. Isn't that a good date. Just turning to Fall time. The leaves are beginning to turn. People are starting to think about Halloween. I hope to be down two pant sizes by then. It's really going to be magical.

I don't know why but I always assumed David Cronenberg didn't even own a TV. Maybe he doesn't actually but he's working on a new show called "Knifeman". The series is a medical drama that follows the happening of a radical self-educated surgeon. Cronenberg will direct the pilot and play the producer role for the series. No word on what station this one will be on but I can't imagine Fox Family is going to pick it up.

I have no idea how to pronounce Karel Roden's name but he's been cast as a mad scientist in the upcoming film "Frankenstein's Army". The movie takes place towards the end of the second World War and finds the Russian army uncovering a creepy breed of living dead monsters that fight for the Nazi's. Sounds adorable.

To see boobies in 3D or not to see boobies in 3D. That is the question. It's a tough one, and unfortunately we're all going to have to answer it because Dimension films has just dropped that "Piranha 3DD" will be released both theatricality and on VOD at the same time. So will the dirtbag in me who wants to see bouncy things in 3D win over the part of me that hates seeing sunlight. I for one can't wait to see how this turns out.

There's so many genre shows in the works I almost forgot that there's already one I watch and kind of like. It's "American Horror Story". It's fun to learn things about each other isn't it? But the news here is that Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, and Lily Rabe will all be returning for Season 2 as different characters. The story this season will take place on the East Coast and focus on Jessica Lange's character. I also really enjoy ice cream and Neil Diamond. I love you.

New movie alert! Oh god I love new movie alerts. The project is called "The Occult" and already has Rufus Sewell, Anne Heche, and Alycia Debnam-Carey in the cast. What's more it'll be directed by Christian E. Christiansen who directed "The Roomate" and that movie was terrible! Are you pumped? I was too excited to read the plot, but I did skim it and there's something about the devil's daughter coming to earth and a small town with some girls and some killings. Oh man, it's the best Monday ever.

Good for Julia Stiles. She's landed the lead role in the upcoming NBC series "Midnight Sun" about a FBI agent trying to track down a cult that mysteriously disappeared. I believe we're one step closer to finally seeing a "Save the Last Dance 2".

"American Horror Story" mastermind Ryan Murphy will be teaming up with "Apollo 18" co-writer Brian Miller for a super hot super new Sci-Fi flick for Sony. The project is currently untitled, there's no director selected and details of the film have yet to be released. Sooooo... How's your day going so far? Did you watch "The Bad Girls Club" last night? Man what a crazy start, huh?

Get excited folks, Universal has picked up the rights to a new found footage flick titled "Thirteen" which focuses on the topic of possession. I for one applaud the good people at Universal for their not-rocking-the-boatness. If they made some crazy movie based off of a new idea no one had ever seen, well I might not be able to control myself in the theater. This way I know what I'm getting and I'll be able to relax. Thank you again, Universal.

Relativity Media and The Weinstein Company have apparently settled their differences of "The Crow" remake out of court and appear to be moving forward with the project. It's amazing to me that of all the movies that get tied up in legal problems the one film they pick to set aside their differences for is "The Crow". Thank you?

I have no idea what dubstep is but I know I hate it, a lot. I also have no idea who Jake Hoffman and Nikki Reed are either but apparently they're going to star in a new dubstep horror flick titled "Snap". I honestly don't even know what I just wrote there. Reed will play a social worker who finds herself drawn into the exciting world of dubstep. I don't know, it turns out she's a nut bag or something. I'm so lost right now.

Chris Stokes directed "You Got Served" and "House Party 4" so it should come as no surprise that his new film "The Helpers" is a hand held torture flick about seven friends who are being held hostage and brutally killed off one by one on camera. Wait no that doesn't make any sense at all. Take a look at the trailer. There's not one sign of anyone getting served. Unless you consider getting ripped in half "served". I think that's what they call it in Connecticut now that I think of it.

I had no idea Tim Burton was working on a stop motion animation flick titled "Frankenweenie". Mostly because I thought he made that 30 years ago in his basement but what the hell do I know. But here's a new still from the flick which looks to be a little more on the kid-friendly side. Sure the dog is dead but that doesn't make him any less adorable.

For those of you who didn't watch The Golden Globes this past weekend not only did you miss some of this season's hottest fashions but you also missed Jessica Lange taking home the gold for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television for her role on "American Horror Story". This is very exciting for horror fans because ya know... it's cool to see horror shows and movies win awards. Because then we can all go online and complain about how it's not horror and how the shows sucks and stuff. Should fill up most of today at the very least.

This shouldn't come as any surprise to people but "The Devil Inside" took a big old nose dive this past weekend, bringing in only about $8,020,000 at the box office. For those of you keeping score at home that's less than half of what it pulled in during it's Friday night midnight showings during it's opening weekend. I don't want to credit anyone for this turn but I did tweet that I was disappointed in the flick so at least 13 people would have been swayed by my opinion. Sorry Hollywood.