Joe's blog

Fired Investment Banker Turns to Horror

Times are tough my friends. Working in New York City I see people getting shit canned left and right and there’s no end in sight. So what’s a 41 year old Wall Street investment banker to do when he finds himself out on his ass? Write a script for a horror movie and get a freakin camera of course.

James Gunn's PG Porn: Helpful Bus

It’s that time of the month again folks. James Gunn has posted another installment in his “PG Porn” series. This one is titled “Helpful Bus” and features Craig Robinson from “The Office” and Sean Gunn from “Gilmore Girls”. I automatically love and hate this at the same time.

When Breast Implants Attack

Every once in a while a film comes along that changes the way we look at the world today. Movies like “Citizen Kane”, “Gandhi”, “The Godfather” and now “BOOB”. The short film now showing at South by Southwest might possibly be the most important film ever made.

Picture if you will a new form of implant that allows women to enlarge their breasts at any given time. Sounds like a wonderland doesn’t it? Now picture what could happen if a surge of electricity accidentally brings that implant to life. What would happen? I'll tell you... all hell breaks loose my friends.

Stalin Vs Martians!

When I was a kid I use to sit and think about what would happen if some of my heroes battled it out for world domination. A few years back I got the answer when “Freddy Vs. Jason” came out. But now the question that has been on everyone's mind since the dawn of the cold war will finally be answered. What would happen if Stalin had to battle aliens? Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the first release by independent publishing label Mezmer Games, “Stalin vs. Martians”.

Indulge Your Inner Beer Freak

So it’s been a while since the guys did their “Freaks” and “Freaked” episodes but I stumbled upon a few beers that would have gone nicely with the films. The good people at Shmaltz Brewing Company have put out an entire line of beers dedicated to Coney Island or as they call them “Freak Beers”. Coney Island Lager, Sword Swallower Steel Hop Lager and Albino Python White Lager are all currently available year round. Their Human Blockhead Lager and Freaktoberfest are both available in limited seasonal releases.

"Saw" Ride Not Safe For Breast Implants

So as Eric reported last week the Saw ride at UK’s Thorpe Park was scheduled to open this Saturday. I use the word “was” because yesterday during some testing the ride was shut down. What was the cause for the temporary closing? "Minor teething problems". That’s not even a joke.

Saturn Award Nominees Announced

So last night I learned two things. First I learned that "The Dark night" was nominated for 11 Saturn Awards this year. And second, that apparently for the past 35 years the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films have held something called The Saturn Awards, which honor the past years film, TV and DVD releases.

Support Your Local Urban Legend

The area I'm from in Upstate New York has a lot of what the kids call “Urban Legends”. We had the old abandoned Tuberculosis hospital which is now supposedly inhabited by devil worshipers. There's Wolf's Hallow that apparently is the place to be if you want to find a cave to perform human sacrifices in. Then there's my favorite of all upstate NY locals, Turkman.

Last House Site Adds Gaming

Good news, if I am ever trapped in my house by murderers I would most likely be able to plan my escape and bust some skulls. I’m what you might consider “smart and vengeful”. Or at least that’s what the “Challenge Your Fears” quiz tells me. Funny side note, I was also voted “Most likely to seek revenge on my kidnappers” in High School. Go Spartans. Anyway, “Challenge Your Fears” and “Get the Keys” are two new games which can be found on the “The Last House on the Left” website.

"Dexter" Game Comes To The iPhone

Most of you probably know the show “Dexter” and its lead character with the same name. You’re also probably a little jealous of him for being able to go out and right the wrongs of the world with a giant knife. It’s probably not wrong to say that deep down inside you’ve probably got a little Dexter in you. The main difference is that most of you wouldn’t be scanning local police files for murderers that got off on a technicality so you can take them out yourself.

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