Joe's blog

The Zombie Ants are Coming

Well it’s finally happened. The ants have risen from the grave to take their revenge on mankind for years of abuse and mistreatment. Hope you're happy!

Racist Film Critic Calls “Black Devil Doll” Racist

If you’re trying to make a point that a film is racist you might want to avoid using sentences like:

...although the Internet Movie Database doesn't list anyone with such Jewish-sounding names associated with the project.

But one film critic did just that and more after questioning the claim that the movie “Black Devil Doll” is in association with producers Ostein and Mayberg.

Women Dies From Using Jackhammer As Sex Toy

I’m going to blame this one on Tim Allen and his creative skills for coming up with the phrase “more power”. On the show “Home Improvement”, Allen would insist that ever tool in his shed would work better if only it was given “more power”. Well unfortunately for Shirley Dent of Arndale Oklahoma this idea does not cross over well to her sex toys. Apparently your average run of the mill vibrator wasn’t good enough for her and she decided to kick things up a notch by using a jackhammer. Bad mistake.

"Eyeborgs" Are Watching Your Every Move

When I was in college I had a roommate who would take great joy in frightening the crap out of me. He would hide somewhere in our apartment then jump out screaming which would make me almost wet myself. The worst part was he wouldn’t just do this as soon as I got home from class, he would wait for me to find him. Sometimes he would be in my closet for a half hour before I opened the door and found him. Needless to say I spent a large chunk of my time in college petrified that someone was watching me.

Doctors Remove Twin Brother From Man's Stomach

I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life but I’d like to think that I could tell the difference between an in-grown hair and undeveloped identical twin embedded in my stomach. Then again I prey to god I never have the opportunity to make that mistake. Unfortunately for 30 year old Gavin Hyatt his doctors had just such an opportunity when he went into the hospital to have a strange growth on his abdomen removed.

"Family Guy" Takes On Stephen King

Family Guy is usually pretty hit or miss with me. I can only take so many “it’s like that time...” setups where they cut back to Peter running around with the A-Team or some crap. This past Sunday they made an entire show out of that idea though when they took three of Stephen Kings most well known stories and recreated them.

New "H2" Poster

So here we've got the new poster for Rob Zombies' “H2”. Or is it “Halloween 2” now? I’m so confused.

And it isn’t just the title that is throwing me off at this point. Based on the preview we saw a couple weeks back I’m making the assumption that that is Michael’s mother in the background, played by site favorite Sheri Moon Zombie. And based on her stance if I was going to make a guess as to what’s going on here, I’d say little Mike is late for dinner and Deborah is pissed.

Updated "District 9" Trailer Hits The Net

There’s a message in the new trailer for “District 9” I just know it. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with intolerance and people being nicer to cockroaches or something along those lines. Anyway an updated version of the trailer Eric posted a couple weeks back has made it’s way online. This time the aliens face is not blurred and his speech has been subtitled. Everything else is the same from the original trailer but with the new subtitles we now understand that our new outer space friends just want to go home. But we’re sure as hell not going to let them.

"Doghouse" Trailer Shows Just How Dumb Guys Are

Guys, huh! We’re so simple. We love cars, sports and nudie mags. When our broads get to be too much we plan weekend get always with other guys so we can go chase tail and proposition hookers. Then we end up getting eaten by a group of women who have been infected by a virus that turns them into cannibals. Ya know, guy stuff.

Coney Island “Summer Of Horror”

Summer is upon us my friends and that means I’ll be searching for shelter from the abusive sun and all it’s skin burning powers. Luckily for everyone in the NYC area, which includes me, The Coney Island Film Society will be showing a different horror movie every Saturday night as part of their “Summer Of Horror”.

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