Joe's blog

"Septic Man" Is Here For the Toilet Enthusiast In Your Life

It’s been anywhere from 3 months to 4 years since I actually read any news (I’m awful with math) and during that time I apparently missed a little ditty called "Septic Man" being announced and filmed. It’s Directed by Jesse Thomas Cook, the guy that spawned “Monster Brawl” and written by Tony Burgess who also wrote “PontyPool” and follows a septic worker who is trying to fix a small towns water contamination issue and ends up being trapped underground and undergoing some nasty transformation. Think “The Toxic Avenger” without all the nudity. At least I think.

Disney is making a "Haunted Mansion" Cartoon Special and It's Going to Be Awesome and You Can Shut Your Mouth

If there's one thing I love in this world, other than the whole family thing and stuff, it's Disney. It makes me happy and when I'm at the parks I smile like a mental patient and if you don't enjoy that sort of thing I assume you're dead inside and listen to a lot of Radiohead.

And if there's one thing I love in the parks more than anything, it's the Haunted Mansion ride. Now, the good people at Disney have announced they're working with illustrator Gris Grimly and "Phineas and Ferb" co-creator Dan Povenmireon on a animated special for their Disney Channel.

That Girl From "Game Of Thrones" Is In a Movie About Her Honeymoon called "Honeymoon"

You probably know Rose Leslie as the scary ass woman who killed a bunch of people on "Game of Thrones". I mean she killed them in the actual show, not like people on the set. I'm 99% sure she'd be in jail or on the run if she was an actual murderer.

Best of 2013 - Joe's Take

Top 10

10. American Mary
You had me at “stripper”.

9. World War Z
Was it true to the book? Was it better than the book? Did it stay true to the book? I have no idea, I never read the book. Brad Freakin' Pitt folks. All your arguments are negated by those two pools of fantasy we call eyes.

Videos: Teddy Has An Operation

I have no idea what to say about this but I think I love it.

Music Video: Hatebreed "Put It To The Torch"

Hatebreed is a ridiculous band. Every song sounds the same and the lead singer is probably in his early 40's now and still screaming about injustice or being confident in yourself or something I don't really understand coming from a middle class white guy from Connecticut. Don't get me wrong I own every one of their albums and like to rock out from time to time but still. It's just silly.

Trailer: The Red Band "Evil Dead" Trailer Is Here

I've been optimistic about the "Evil Dead" remake and now that this red band trailer has hit the tubes I will go on record as saying I am actually excited. I mean not jump up and down excited, but a "well, that looks like it might be good" kind of excited. So I guess that's not really excited at all, is it? Anyway, it kind of made me go in my pants a little bit because Jane Levy, the film's star, is kind of scary as hell in it. She also has weird stumpy arms. But that's in real life so we shouldn't talk about it because it's rude.

"Evil Dead" hits theaters on April 12th.

Trailer: "Scary movie 5"

It might just be the Holiday spirit still rattling around in my brain. It might also be the 6 pack of Reese's peanut butter cups I just polished off for breakfast but damn it all to hell if I didn't laugh a few times at the first trailer for "Scary Movie 5". Yes it's a dead horse being beat with a whoopee cushion and yes the films they're mocking are all over a few years old but come on. Lindsay Lohan makes a showing! And Heather Locklear is in it. Nothing bad ever happens when Heather Locklear is around. That's a fact.

The Metal Albums of 2012: Joe's Take

Now that I'm an old man I find I have less and less time to check out new bands. Luckily this year though a lot of bands I've been a fan of for a long time put out new albums. Of my top 10 there's only one band on this list that I had never owned an album from before. Try to guess which one it is. Let's make a game out of it.

The Top 10

10. Unsane - "Wreck"

Trailer: "World War Z" Is Still Happen? Egg On My Face.

I had pretty much lost track of “World War Z”, the big screen adaptation of Max Brooks’ 2006 zombies take over the world novel but I was 75% sure the filming site had blown up, Brad Pitt had walked off the set and the 14th director got run over by a car. Turns out I’m wrong because today there’s a trailer for the flick and much to my surprise it looks pretty sweet, despite not really showing much in the way of zombies. Let’s be honest though, 2 hours of Brad Pitt doing his taxes would look pretty sweet. The guy lights up the screen, that’s all I’m saying.

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