Eric's blog

George Carlin has been dead for almost two weeks now, and no one has mentioned it here on the site. I have wanted to since the day I heard the news, but things kept getting in my way and I wasn't able to. Luckily for me, this pre-Holiday week at work is starting to grind to a halt so I've found myself with some free time to speak my piece.

I'm sure by now you've all been refreshed on why exactly Carlin is a god among Comedians, and the way that he bucked the system in the 60's by essentially "joining" the counter culture. So I figured I'd just share a personal anecdote.

I discovered Carlin a few years ago while I was still attending college. At the time, I was rapidly developing into a critical human being, and beginning to question everything around me. Discovering Carlin at that time was almost kismet, because as anyone knows who has listened to his comedy, it was more about truth than it was laughs.

What Carlin mastered that makes him so rare, is the idea that the best way to get a point across is by making someone laugh. The man had incredibly progressive political views which were usually the focal points of his shows. He was also pretty pessimistic on humanity and our legacy in the grand scheme of things. Looking around at the world today, it's not hard to see what he was talking about.

My father also loved Carlin, and it was one of our goals to get a chance to go see him together. He had gotten the chance to see him back in the 70's, during the time when he was perfecting his "7 Dirty Words Schtick", but it was an experience I had not had myself. At one point a few years back, my father was about to buy tickets for me and him to go see an upcoming show, when a series of events led to him losing his job. Every year since, I've sworn to myself I was going to buy tickets so I could go see him with my father, but I never did. I'm a pretty young person, just turned 26, and this is one of my first experiences with the notion of "never again". I missed my opportunity, and that has caused me no small amount of regret over the last two weeks.

It has killed me how many people I've heard say that George is now "looking down" on us from Heaven, because as anyone who knows George knows, the man didn't exactly believe in God... like, at all. I too, am a card carrying Atheist (or at least I would be, if they made cards), and so I wanted to post just this one Carlin bit for old times sake.

It's called (fittingly) "There is No God". You may agree or disagree with George and I, but you've got to admit, the man knew how to make a point. So let's all take a moment to remember Carlin, and don't forget... God bless Joe Pesci.

After the last issue inexplicably didn't feature any of my writing (seriously, what was the deal with that?) Issue #12 of Horror Hound Magazine comes back with a vengeance, hitting stands today (Wednesday) and featuring three pieces of my writing. First off, the entire issue is one big tribute to the "Halloween" series (save for part III, which had it's own retrospective a few issues ago).

I personally got the chance to write about "H4: The Return of Michael Myers", and "H6: The Curse of Michael Myers". Both are really interesting entries in the series for obvious reasons, and both have been favorites of mine for a long time. The cover was designed by Ed Repka, who is famous for the artwork he's done for a plethora of metal bands, including Iron Maiden and Three Inches of Blood.

Also, this issue features a "lost slashers" article, in which I had the chance to write a blurb about one of my favorites, "The Burning".

My Editor Nate has informed me that Borders has tripled their stock of the magazine this time around, so it should be easier to find than in the past. We're also carried in Barnes and Nobles as well as other major book sellers. The key is though, it's important to get out TODAY, or very soon thereafter, as the copies sell out very fast.

And as Nate would say, if you like what you see you should really consider subscribing, since you'll save a pretty penny off the cover price. Check the link above for direct buy and subscription options. Hope you have as much fun reading this issue as I had writing for it.

I mentioned this on Episode 33 of our Podcast this week, but I wanted to reiterate to those who may not be listening (or just haven't heard it yet).

Anyhoo, we're looking for a few good bloggers. Specifically, we would love WOMEN bloggers, but I'm willing to entertain any applicants.

If you've been hanging at the site, you know that our blogs are sort of like catchalls. They are often focused on horror, but there are no rules against branching out into other pop culture topics. In fact, we've been known to cover everything from Wrestling, art, music, mainstream movies and pretty much anything else. Also, we try to strike a balance between quickie video posts, and more thought out intellectual ones.

So, if you think you have what it takes and are interested, please visit the contact page and hit us up. Please include name, 5 favorite horror films, how often you think you would be able to blog and of course, some type of writing sample.

Lastly, I assume this is common knowledge, but this would not be a paying position. If the writer in question works out however, there is every chance for them to graduate to reviews and other features. Everything will be on a case by case basis. Looking forward to your replies.

I started this video out thinking it would be a "Chocolate Rain" type situation... aka all about awkwardness and irony. It quickly turns the corner though into something I would have never expected (read: awesomeness). Check it out for yourself and see what I mean. (might want to keep the volume low if you're at work, there's some NSFW language)

Here is the first shot of Jason's mask in the upcoming remake/reboot of "Friday the 13th" currently in production over at Platinum Dunes. I missed this in the news this morning, but I wanted to post it mainly because I really think they nailed it. It's not tiny and eroded like in "Jason Goes To Hell" or "Jason X", and it's not oddly shaped like in "Freddy Vs Jason". This is old school, circa parts 3 or 4, and it's sweet.

I haven't been keeping up with every little detail on this film b/c frankly, it's not all that important. This though I thought was cool. What do you guys think?

So it was just brought to my attention a few days ago that tomorrow is Friday the 13th. It's kind of a running joke in my family (as I'm sure it is in some of yours) that F13 is sort of like a second Christmas to me.

When I was a kid, like I'm sure many of you did, I used to revel in the Friday the 13th marathons that (at the time) were usually held on the USA channel. They were magical. Pizza, chips, soda, a pillow and a blanket, and hopefully some friends to share them with... that was all you needed. I have a very clear memory of one in particular when I was a child, deep in the heart of summer in which a friend and I almost made it all the way through to morning.

Of course, we never did (has anyone that's human?), but that didn't matter, it was just trying that mattered. We'd fall asleep during one film, wake up during the next and try to jump in all over again. It didn't matter that the films were cut, that some weren't shown at all, or that they were filled with commercials, it was just good old fashioned fun.

Now that I'm an adult (read: manchild), I usually don't do anything to celebrate the occasion. Occasionally I'll flip through the channels just to see if I'm lucky enough to catch one of those famous marathons, but it seems for the last few years that there hasn't really been anything.

My favorite marathons were always the "Mostervision" ones, hosted by columnist turned TV host Joe Bob Briggs. For those lucky enough to have been able to watch that show on Saturday nights on TNT (or in it's earlier years, on Showtime), you can understand how much I've mourned that show since it was taken off the air. Someone has actually posted all of the interstitials from his marathon on Youtube. Unfortunately, it was shot off of the dude's television so I couldn't bring myself to post them here. You may want to check it out though if you're jonesing really bad, but the buzz from his camera is enough to drive you insane.

Well, this year I've decided to bring the tradition back, at least in some form. My girlfriend and I, along with our friend Kristina (who has been on our Podcast a few times) are going to sit down with a few beers, some junkfood, and watch the original "Friday the 13th". My girlfriend has never seen it, and is a notorious scaredy cat, so that should be fun.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, other than some gratuitous nostlagia. I'd love to hear some of your own F13 memories in the comments though... so feel free to share away. And remember, if an old man stops you on the road and warns you of your impending doom tomorrow, you better listen!

I was trying to find something to post on the blog today, and for no reason whatsoever the movie "Mosquito" popped into my head. The film was released in 1995 and directed by Gary Jones, a journeyman writer/director/producer who has worked on everything from "Evil Dead II" to Bruce Campbell's "Man with the Screaming Brain".

It stars Gunnar Hansen (the original Leatherface) and a bunch of random B movie actors, and revolves around an alien spaceship which crashes in a swamp. The mosquitoes feed on the bodies of the dead aliens, and predictably, they mutate and grow to be enormous.

The special FX are fun, consisting mostly of stop motion animation and puppetry work. The film is almost entirely made up of practical FX in fact, with the glaring exception of the CGI spaceship in the beginning. Think of how bad direct to video CGI is nowadays, and now pretend you're in 1995... ya, it's that bad.

There are lots of deaths though, a few boobies, and a gaggle of lines delivered by Hansen with all the subtlety of a chainsaw to the brain. The funniest thing of all is that, with the right writer/director team and enough money, I could actually see this concept being scary. In the hands of B movie peeps though and a 200k budget, it turns into a fun hour and a half of cheese, which of course I'm not complaining about.

Most of all though, I just really enjoy the fact that it's shot on film. Too many low budget films these days are shot on video. And while I feel that it's an amazing outlet for indie filmmakers, I think that films like "Mosquito" show why it's important to shoot on film if you can. It lends a sense of professionalism and legitimacy to a film about giant mosquitoes, and that's no easy task.

So anyways, the film itself is terrible and probably not worth tracking down unless you find it in a bargain bin somewhere. I probably saw it on Joe Bob Brigg's "Monstervision" some night and that's why I have such an attachment to it, but the theme of the post is guilty pleasures so there you go.

Here are two trailers from the film. The first one contains really brief nudity and is apparently the original theatrical trailer. The second one must be a later one cut for the video release. Scroll below that for some other goodies from the film as well.

One of the totally sweet death scenes:


As with every horror film on Youtube, here's a "tribute" someone edited together and put to Heavy Metal.

The Podcast downloads are being especially squirrely today, so I just wanted to post to say that I'm aware of it. After Mark gets back from tour next week it will be first on his list of things to fix, so just hang in there for a few more weeks.

In the meantime, the full download should run about 1:30. If you're having troubles, I'd suggest waiting until tomorrow, Tuesday seems to be the sort of "Magic" day to download.

I was inspired to write this post after seeing a video of an old man jumping through a beer pong table on Deadspin.com yesterday.

After watching the video, I started perusing Youtube's handy dandy pop-up links for related videos, when I realized that there is an endless amount of (mostly) honky related Beer pong hilariousness on Youtube. It also got me thinking, that had my adolescence been going on now (as opposed to in the 90's), than there surely would be so much photographic evidence of me acting like a jackass that securing employment would definitely be impossible. I can't wait until these dipshits go out and try to get jobs.

That said, I'm not calling this a "Top 10" list or anything because let's face it, those lists are kind of bullshit. One man's trash is another man's treasure. So, with that said, here's a list of 11 videos (including the original, old man one) that I found while searching for "Beer Pong Slam Dunk" on Youtube over the last two days. Enjoy them, and remember to drink resp... ah never mind. If these videos are any evidence, you won't listen anyways. So, here it goes folks!

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The video that started it all. This is what happens when you invite your divorced father to hang out with you and your frat buddies. Bonus points for anyone who can come up with a good reason as to why he's in his underwear.

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I have 5 words for you son, "he just did that shit". Oh, and shouldn't there be some sort of moratorium on white guys ever saying the words "Three Six Mafia"?

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Just for the sake of not being sarcastic about everything I do in life, here's just a video of the best beer pong player I have ever seen. Of course, he seems to be practicing with water, so that might have something to do with it.

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Here's another serious one. This is a 9,000 cup time lapse game. My only question is, how do you know who won?

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And we're back to the ridiculous again with this slam dunk. This one gets posted because of this guy's wanton disregard for the destructification of his friend's parents house. Thanks, dick.

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I have no explanation for this video other than that this is what happens when you let honor students play drinking games. Is that water in that chick's cup?

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Okay, first off, get a better camera. Second off, I'm beginning to feel alarmed at the hatred these kids have towards their parents' furniture. Check one for the birth control column.

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As this video so helpfully proves, It's almost better when the table doesn't break. That way you have a much higher chance of internal injuries. "I think my hip's bleeding" never sounded so funny.

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So, this video was half way through before I realized it was facetious, but here's one of guy's doing really easy things with a ball and cup and acting like they're awesome. Props go out to them for being teenagers and actually showing creativity. Imagine that! Stay tuned for the Jordan vs Bird finale for the full effect.

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This kid is frigging amazing. What is he like 10?

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And finally today we'll close you out with this gem. It has nothing to do with beer pong but there is a drunk minor and Jesus Christ it's funny. Just be thankful you don't have friends like this.

You ever had one of those days when it seems like nothing is going right? When you're just feeling dejected, laying on the couch with the remote, doing your damdest to pass the time without incident? Well, today was turning out to be one of those days, when I stumbled upon "Teen Wolf Too" on TV.

What could it hurt?, I thought. I mean, it had Jason Bateman in it and he's funny, and it's about werewolves and they're kind of cool. Ah, what the hell, it couldn't be worse than staring at the wall for an hour and a half, right?

Wrong.

The fact that Jason Bateman (or Werewolves for that matter) ever worked again in Hollywood after this film will go down as one of the greatest mysteries in the Universe.

Well, just so I can share a little of my misery with you, here's the trailer. The moment in the film where a be-fanged Bateman is lipsynching to a studio musician singing "Do You Love Me" was quickly becoming my personal "rock bottom" in life, and then the Boxing montage kicked in.

Enjoy your day :)