Best of 2013 - Joe's Take

Top 10

10. American Mary
You had me at “stripper”.

9. World War Z
Was it true to the book? Was it better than the book? Did it stay true to the book? I have no idea, I never read the book. Brad Freakin' Pitt folks. All your arguments are negated by those two pools of fantasy we call eyes.

8. Warm Bodies
Because deep down inside I’m a sucker for a love story. I also love Rob Corddry’s bald head.

7. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Sure, it was stupid, but it was also a crap load of fun. I’m almost positive I wrote the same thing last year for another stupid movie I can’t remember right now, but just to make my point here... Famke.

6. Byzantium
You had me at “hooker”.

5. Evil Dead
One of the best remakes we’ve seen in a long time. I loved the fact that they didn’t just do a straight copy of the original. Plus “Scary Movie 5” parodied it, so doesn’t that say something? No? Ok fine.

4. The Conjuring
This movie scared the holy living crap out of me. If it wasn’t for the last 15 minutes when crap gets all possessey I probably would of put this one at the top of my list.

3. Pacific Rim
I didn’t see this one till hit DVD and now I’m pretty pissed at myself for missing it in the theaters. Just an awesome throwback to the Godzilla movies I loved growing up.

2. The Purge
This movie was a blast for the countless Schnaars jokes alone. But even without that it was still a really great idea for a film. And who doesn’t love a good message-film now and then? Well, me really, but still, it was a good movie.

1. You're Next
Honestly, I had a really tough time picking a number 1 from my top 4, but Jon was really breathing down my neck about sending this list in so here it is. What made “You’re Next” my number 1 pick you might ask? Well, I loved the twist and I still have that “Looking for the Magic” song stuck in my head.

Bottom 3

3. Antiviral
To be honest I’m not even sure I disliked the this movie but Caleb Landry Jones’ face will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life so it needs to be here.

2. Carrie
At the end of the day there was no use for this movie to happen. You can’t really improve on a classic and this did nothing to even try.

1. Maniac
I was never really a big fan of the original and a remake of a film I didn’t like already really isn’t going to win me any brownie points. Unless of course you put Timothy Olyphant in it. That guy makes everything better.

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