Entry3: "Feast" is Delicious, but I Have Complaints

Alert! Spoilers Ahead

If I were a weepier kind of man I would most certainly now be weeping.

I have, as of today, officially caught up with the casts and am already missing the list of 'new-to-me' episodes that has greeted me each day. For weeks this has been my guilty pleasure; football on the weekend and BGHorror to fill in the gaps. I have had a fucking blast!

Of course I realize that there are plenty of casts to check out, but it was exactly the process of digging through them that led me here. It was the realization that some are most definitely better than others that has kept BGH at the top of my daily playlist. Thank god there's a full service site...GREAT call on that one Eric! So, since I am not really the weepy type I will just suffer in silence...actually I am also not really the dramatic type so fuck that.

My sister-in-law and I checked out "Feast" this past weekend. We never made it to "Feast II", but as long as we're being honest I was really not all that bummed to miss it after watching the first one. I know that implies that I did not enjoy the first film and nothing could be further from the truth. Well, some things could be but then if I point those out then my statement loses that drama we keep bringing up. I dread the drama because it is so distracting and now I have forgotten what the hell I was saying...

"Feast"! There are many things about this film that are pretty fucking sweet. Like the little intro/bio of each character - that was pretty. The scene where the chick takes off in the truck - that was fucking sweet! She manages to get the "Oops I have tripped over this thing here and now I will scream" part spot on, but then just bails with the truck. ??? Awesome!! I loved the way this story completely abandons some of the standard fare, and turns right. Nascar (and all that implies) could use a bit of this.

"Feast"! Plenty of filth and nastiness to be sure. This is a good thing; a good thing it's there because the rapid-fire editing thru the action shots is bullshit!! Is this a trend that has evolved and we have all agreed is OK? I guess I have not seen enough of this use of that technique to gloss over it or whatever. I mean I love (read: hate) the J-horror 'twitchy ghost walk' - actually that shit creeps me the fuck out. Like the girl in "Gothika" walking down in the hall in the asylum...C'MON! And, of course, "The Ring!!" makes me piss in my shoes whenever I even refer to it and since I am not wearing shoes...

...I am now wondering why I was just standing in my closet pissing in my shoes - oh yeah, "The Ring!!"...

...Ok, I'm back.

Let's get this straight. I have no trouble finding my way in the dark, but I prefer to screw with the lights on. In other words, I like to actually SEE the gore. And the blood. And the technique, and the skill. And the money spent! Get in there and give me a loooong, slow look. Lemme study it. See if I can find the teeth marks, identify the organs, or see what the victim ate for lunch. Oh, and some boobs maybe while we're at it? We had demon-dong, nuts and all, so how about something to wash the palette with next time. You know I am all for the right turns we were taking about, but seriously! Grow up and learn to give me what I need! Now would be best.

I would say this is the main reason I was not all that worked up about getting right to "Feast II". Admittedly that decision was heavily influenced by the wife's audible frustration with simply having to listen to this stuff and that is enough to make any viewing experience good and tense. It's all good though. She'll come around. I have a strange feeling that once I throw "E.R.", "The Office" and some of the other (stuff) I have to tolerate onto the fire, she will gain some perspective.

Actually she's a trooper and sat in the room for a good portion of the film. Lines like, "...I am upper-case fucked!" got a rise out of her for sure. BTW Beer Guy's death scene was pretty sweet. Awesome kill and decent amount of pause there but I'm never satisfied so - shenanigans!

So now I continue my journey back to the dark-side and am loving it! "The Beast Within", "Black Sheep" (the right version!), and "Audition" have all arrived in the mail now, purchases through Amazon so no more BS, and "Feast II" is still on-deck.

Last night we watched "Sweeney Todd" and I had forgotten how wonderfully gory that movie is. (Those meat-pies are nasty though - what's up with that? BTW - anyone ever seen "Motel Hell"?) I will see if I can use some of last night's momentum to get away with throwing "Untraceable" in. Once we do the 'why the hell do we spend the money when there's never anything on' - dance Jen should be good and worked up. After all, Netflix was kind enough to send it.

I continue on my quest to shit myself. Which my Son just did. Shit HIMself that is. And maybe a little on me....

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