Horror Headlines 9/4/08

New poster and theatrical dates for "My Name Bruce", Bruce Campbell's ode to the three Amigos about what happens when a small town mistakes him for a real demon fighter. THANK GOD they got rid of the original poster. Go ahead and google it, if you've got the stomach for it. This one is much closer to where it should be. Can't wait to see this.

Sony is picking up David Fincher's remake of "Heavy Metal", after it was dropped by Paramount over a dispute concerning Fincher's current project "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". As the story goes, Paramount wants Fincher to cut 20 minutes from the film, he refuses, so they refused to work with him on any future projects. So I have no idea what this means for Button's future, but it does mean that "Heavy Metal" has found a new home. Now let's just hope it turns out as amazing as that South Park episode spoofing it.

There is a video floating around the internet that contains footage from the first teaser from "The Wolf Man" starring Benizio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins. The twist though is that it was filmed at a convention on a handlheld camera and it has no sound. If you really really really feel the need to see it in that state, click here. If you're like me and can wait, rest assured that I'll provide you with the proper link when the time comes. You've been warned.

Mark Millar will be providing a short outline for a "Wanted 2" sequel, and makes it sound like it's only a matter of time before the project gets greenlit. My only requirement for this to happen is for someone to please get Angelina Jolie a sandwich. I mean Jesus people, look at this and tell me that's not the grossest thing you've ever seen. Okay maybe not the grossest, but the girl still needs to put some meat on her bones.

Guillermo Del Toro is officially "booked" until 2017. Not sure when he's going to have time to scratch his balls, but I guess swimming in his pool filled with money might help ease the pain.

In Real People News: 

18 year old boyfriend strangles 17 year old girlfriend's mother to death, gives his girlfriend earplugs first so she doesn't have to hear the proceedings. Wow, is it just me, or is that strangely considerate for someone about to choke the crap out of an old lady?

Apparently New Zealand is having just as much trouble with youth violence as our UK brothers are these days, and now the little bastards have nunchakus. You seriously have to read the source on this one, the mental picture will keep you entertained for hours.

There's a very clear reason why you shouldn't hide in a porta-potty when trying to escape from a crime scene... because the people you robbed can find you and tip it over. And so ends today's lesson in common sense.

On this day in history: 

2000: During a campaign stop in Naperville, Illinois, Presidential candidate George W Bush turns to running mate Dick Cheney and says, "There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole from the New York Times." Cheney responds, "Oh yeah, he is, big-time." Unbeknownst to the men, their comments are transmitted clearly to the television news feed. Rather than offer a mea culpa to Clymer, Bush later issues this non-apology: "I regret that a private comment I made to the vice-presidential candidate made it onto the public airwaves. I regret everybody heard what I said." Awww, how sincere.

Midnight Movies, Please Come Home!

Of all the bygone phenomena of my youth I think none is more deeply mourned than the midnight movie.

Can we please talk about Bitch Slap?

I'm beyond intrigued. I have now become feverish. I have to see this film.

Bitch Slap

True Indiana Horror

Many were aware, or even in attendance, of Horror Hound Weekend Indy this past labor day weekend. Injecting their own blend of horrific scares and frights, it's an odd and welcome dose of scary for sleepy Indiana. I myself wasn't in attendance this weekend however as I ventured out into Northern Indiana to take in the true horror of the Hoosier Heartland, the ubiquitous Labor Day festival!

Horror Headlines 9/3/08

Jason Mewes says he doesn't really know what's going on with Kevin Smith's horror film to be "Red State", except that he will be casting all unknown actors in the roles. It doesn't surprise me all that much that Mewes would not have "any idea" what's going on, but it does surprise me that State's been stuck in development hell since the Weinstein's passed on it last year. Will Smith ever cross genres and be successful? We'll just have to wait and see.

Apparently Mark Millar has raised 70 million to make the film based on his comic book "Kick Ass", starring Nicholas Cage. He was having trouble getting studios to pay attention because of the over the top violence, so instead he decided to go off on his own and get in touch with some rich friends of his for funding. So, we shall be seeing "Kick Ass" in all of it's uncensored glory. Excuse the pun, but that sounds pretty kickass to me.

Two documentaries pimping the HBO Vampire series "True Blood" will air this Saturday. The faux documentaries are more in the series of very self aware marketing campaigns they've been pursuing for this show. The debut is the next day, Sunday September 7th at 9pm.

Looking for a place to submit your short horror film too? Than Dance Macabre might be right up your alley. More info at the link.

In Real People News: 

Viagara turns 80 year old man into a crazed sex fiend and abuser. Plus, he had a shotgun. There's your short horror film story right there.

People are making money in Bangladesh by sifting for gold in sewer water, just like they used to in San Fransisco back in the day (except you know... without all the shit). Just remember that the next time someone says "it can't get any worse". Are you sifting gold out of shit water? No? Then yes my friend, it can definitely get worse.

Man says wife screamed as she fell off of cliff by accident, doctors say she couldn't have because her neck was already broken when she fell, man says "it must have been an angel I heard then". Airtight alibi if you ask me, AIR TIGHT.

Finally, the secret to Canada's listeria outbreak comes to light. And yes, it's actually more vomit inducing than I had imagined.

On this day in history: 

1969: Ho Chi Minh dies of heart failure in Hanoi, Vietnam. He had asked to be cremated and his ashes buried on three hilltops. Contrary to his express wishes, Uncle Ho is embalmed and put on display in a mausoleum just like Lenin's.

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