Horror Headlines 9/25/08

(Editor's Note: You gotta love that picture above. It's like "Ya I have a bloody nose, and ya something just wickedly exploded behind me... but that doesn't mean I can't be sexy!" You gotta love the dedication.)

Matt Reeves, who directed "Cloverfield" for J.J. Abrams, will be heading up the remake of the Swedish vampire film "Let the Right One in", as both writer and director. The newly incarnated Hammer Films picked up the rights to the film after this year's Tribeca Film Festival, and this is the first news as to who will be helming the remake. Never seen the original but the word "love" is used in the synopsis way too much for me to have faith in the project.

So if I'm to be honest, the idea of an "I Am Legend" prequel sounds pretty garbagey to me. However, it will reportedly center around the last days of humanity in NYC leading up to the events of the first film. That actually sounds decent, although strange since we'll already know pretty much exactly how it will end. The original director Frances Lawrence and star and Will Smith will be returning. No word yet on when to expect the film as it's in the very beginning stages of planning at this point.

I do have to give credit to This Indie film "Scar Crow" for looking like it could be cheesy fun, as well as making me giggle when I read it's name. Although, the plot sounds like a direct rip-off of "Severance" combined with the first episode of "Fear Itself", so you can see how my enthusiasm has waned a bit from reading the initial story.

More stills from "Bitch Slap"!, the Grindhouse-like tale of three women from much different backgrounds who come together in the desert to extort some money from a "ruthless underworld kingpin". Needless to say, things don't go so well, it turns out one of them may be plotting aganist the others, and another one might not even be human! What other kinds of cheeky shenanigans will they be getting into? Check out "Bitch Slap's" official site and find out for yourself.

At least Dario Argento understands how difficult it is to try and remake his films, since no one else seems to. In the interview he mentions that someone is interested in doing a redux of his first real Giallo film, "The Bird With The Crystal Plumage". And don't forget, there's still a remake of "Suspiria" in the making that may or may not star Natalie Portman. It's a wild and weird world we live in folks.

First TV spot for "Quarantine". The flick gets released in two weeks (Oct 10th), and will be the subject of that week's podcast. I'll be checking out the original "[REC]" this weekend, so I should be able to bring a slightly unique perspective compared to the rest of our hosts. Have you seen [REC]? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

New set of stills from "Train", the sort of not really remake of "Terror Train", or as I like to call it; "What has happened to Thora Birch's career since starring in that movie with that bag?"

Guillermo Del Toro to write a trilogy of Vampire books for Harper Collins. You'll recall this is hot on the heels of the news that he's straight booked up as a writer/director until 2017. Theories on how exactly Del Toro has mastered the art of NEVER SLEEPING may be left in the comments.

In Real People News: 

PETA urges Ben & Jerry's to use human breast milk in their ice cream to save cows from cruelty. So glad I decided to eat my cereal while I wrote the news this morning.

I'm not sure how much beer you would have to drink in order to not feel anything when you're impaled on a security fence through your rectum, but I'd venture to say that afterwards it might be time for a little life re-evaluation (on several fronts, mind you). Hilariously disturbing picture at the link!

Pig holds woman hostage in Australia. Isn't this like some sort of bizarro version of "Misery"?

More than half of all Americans think they've been helped by a "Guardian Angel" at some point in their lives. To quote the words of the immortal George Carlin, "if you're going to buy that shit, why not take the Goblin package too?"

On this day in history: 

1980: On the NBC talk show Tomorrow, SNL alumnus Chevy Chase calls actor Cary Grant a "homo." Grant sues, but rumors of his homosexuality follow him for years. Grant was the first person to use the word "gay" in its modern context on film: In "Bringing Up Baby", while in a pink fluffy silk rope he exclaimed "I've just gone gay all of a sudden!"

Midnight Muenster Episode 15

What is Midnight Muenster? It's my very own little podcast starring me, and my wife! Catering to indie horror and direct to video schlock, Midnight Muenster's the place to hear about those weird flicks you're afraid to rent! (Or be seen renting at any rate!)

Special Guests William Hainline and Greg Schmidt join us in the studio for a look at indie darling "Dead & Breakfast" and our Junior Correspondent returns to review "Igor" with Colleen!

Fringe 1.03

FRINGE EPISODE 1.03 "THE GHOST NETWORK"

The Gist:

As the episode opens, we see a man attack a bus full of people by unleashing an aerosol spray into the air. While leaving the bus we see him grab a backpack from one of the women on the bus. After he is gone, we see that the aerosol has hardened and solidified everyone in a sort of gel like material, leaving them in almost a suspended animation type state.

Horror Headlines 9/24//08

Tarantino's father stars in horror Western. Thanks to Prisoner Abel with the assist on the correction.

French "Saw V" poster. Considering these are practically the McDonald's of Horror films, I wonder what the French think of the 'Saw' series?

An "American Psycho Musical sounds pretty genius to me. Plus, the book's writer Brett Easton Ellis will be serving as a Consulting Producer, so you know this rendition will be faithful to the material.

Lions Gate has acquired the distribution rights to "Train", the sort-of remake of the 80's Jamie Lee Curtis vehicle "Terror Train". World also comes down that the MPAA has given the film an NC-17 rating. Considering that there's no gratuitous David Copperfield in this version, I can't imagine what that rating could be for.

In Real People News: 

Apparently all of the hot blonds in Finland weren't enough to make them immune from school shootings. Plus, it's obvious by the story that they're not nearly as paranoid as we are, considering the fact that the police actually had the gunman in custody a day before the shootings, and let him go because they couldn't charge him with anything.

Bus stabbing in Canada. Um... maybe you guys should start taking the train... or dog sled maybe? I don't know, however it is you guys get around up there in the Great White North.

Ever wanted to know what happens when someone's asshole is literally stapled shut? Me neither, but now you know exactly what you're threatening your friends with when they won't stop dropping ass on your couch.

The problem with laying down in the street to form a human road block is this... you're made of flesh and bones. I know they were high schoolers, but isn't that like Biology 101?

Bloody Birthday... Everytime!!!

When I was about 12, I saw Ed Hunt's "Bloody Birthday" for the first time. The experience was coring. Of course there have been other films that have tackled evil kids, but none of them has ever done for me, or to me what "Bloody Birthday" does.

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