Horror Headlines: February 2nd, 2009

This article will teach you two things. Dee Snider is making a sequel to his 90's horror film "Strangeland", and he thinks he invented the torture porn subgenre. Wait, he's bragging about that?

Artwork from a pretty interesting looking slasher called "Laid To Rest", directed by Rob Hall.

Sam Raimi's producing a film titled "Burst", that's all about people randomly exploding!

Neca has scored the licenses to the video games DEAD SPACE, PROTOTYPE, DEVIL MAY CRY, and DANTE'S INFERNO, so you can expect some top shelf toys and figures coming from these properties some time in the near future.

First three online clips from "Friday the 13th". We're now less than 2 weeks away from the release date, Friday February 13th, 2009.

In Real People News: 

There is now a monument in Iraq celebrating the guy who threw his shoe at President Bush... and it's a giant shoe. I LOL'd when I read that.

Apparently some areas with Comcast Cable were shown ten seconds of hardcore porn after Larry Fitzgerald's fourth quarter touchdown last night. The clip only aired on the analog feed and not the digital. That should teach all those old bastards who haven't switched over yet. Still using Rabbit ears? Here's some cock and balls for you.

Michael Phelps admits that he totally ripped bong hits at that party he was photographed at recently, and he's really, really sorry. Not about the college chick he nailed afterwards though, she was super hot, and had a tramp stamp... it was a butterfly.

On this day in history: 

1997: Marv Albert, nationally known sportscaster, allegedly bites a 42 year old woman after an evening of watching pornographic movies. By September he is on trial for sodomy.

SNL Digital Short has Jump Scares Too

Although The Uninvited was not nearly as bad as well all expected, it wasn't without it's ghostly jump-scare wackiness. Getting an audience of movie goers to spring from their seats has been the objective of horror directors from the get go, but the the "mirror" scare prevalent in many Asian horror remakes is fast becoming the most commonplace.

Twitter Loves Friday the 13th

I happened to be doing a live subject search on Twitter this morning when I discovered there was an advanced screening of Platinum Dunes' "Friday the 13th" remake in LA last night, and a select group of people were able to check out the horror flick 2 weeks early. I used my sexy Photoshop skills to fashion the graphic above from their various Tweets about the proceedings. Looks pretty damned good to me!

The Uninvited (REVIEW)

In many ways "The Uninvited" seems a bit late to the party. We're nearly a year removed from the theatrical debut of the remake of "The Eye" starring Jessica Alba, when I triumphantly declared to anyone who would listen, "the Asian horror remake craze is dead!" It seemed logical at the time.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 30th, 2009

"The Uninvited" opens wide in the US today. In case you hadn't picked up on it yet, it's a remake of "A Tale of Two Sisters", a widely praised Korean film from a few years back. This version stars Elizabeth Banks. Expect a review from us this weekend.

Get a sneak peak at the first two chapters of the novel "Hater". A "Hater" adaptation is one of the projects that is currently being produced by Guillermo Del Toro, for his buddy Juan Antonion Bayona, director of last year's big art-house hit "The Orphanage".

ABC has hired David Nutter to direct their television version of the Jack Nicholson film "The Witches of Eastwick". Nutter's previous credits include Millenium, Dark Angel, Roswell, Without a Trace, Smallville, Supernatural, The Mentalist and The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Apparently he's a go-to guy for pilot directing. The original "Witches" story concerns three women who turn to witchcraft after losing the men in their lives, only to conjure up a devil-like character (Nicholson) who proceeds to seduce all three of them (because he's Jack freaking Nicholson).

"Resident Evil 4" is already prepping to be shot in Toronto, with additional footage to be shot in Japan. Toronto will apparently double for Alaska, where we see the survivors drive off to at the end of the last film. The script this time is being written by series head Paul W.S. Anderson, but he will not be directing. Also, casting is currently under way, and reports are that they're still trying to convince Milla Jovovich to return to the series. I guess I'm kind of excited for this, but then again I think Anderson may have run out of Zombie movies to crib from at this point.

In Real People News: 

Man throws toddler from bridge, perhaps after one too many viewings of "Mother of Tears"? I know that would drive me to insanity.

Attention parents, this might be a good one to know. Apparently you can try "with [your] hands" to make your child answer you. Translation: Choke the crap out of them until blood spews out. Great quote from the father, "So long. Too late. Now, I kill you". Sounds like he's channeling Inigo Montoya to me.

All sorts of insanity in today's news. This guy tried to take back the breast implants he bought for his girlfriend, with a knife. Seems like a flawed plan to me.

Google maps destroyed this deer, and you can still see the evidence from the photos the car took while mapping out the street in Rush, NY.

It's Friday so here's one more folks... and I'm just going to quote the mother in this story because it's too good to pass up. "There was a quarter stick of dynamite in the house where he was staying, and he got a hold of it and it blew him up basically." Way to keep your composure there, mom. It's almost like you don't even care... Oh wait.

On this day in history: 

1835: Andrew Jackson is the subject of the first recorded assassination attempt on a U.S. president. After a man fires shots at him, Jackson beat the crap out of his would-be assassin.

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