Tokyo Zombie Coming in April

Japan... land of mass teen suicides, tentacle sex, Kobe beef... basically all the things I want for myself, but wouldn't dare dream of trying to actually attain.

Now you can add to the list of things Japan has, "films that look vaguely like Shaun of the Dead". This one's a horror/comedy called "Tokyo Zombie", and is coming to you in April via those horror mongers over at Anchor Bay. Here's the synopsis:

'Goon City' is Pixel Art Crack for Nerds

Spottting references to our favorite movies and games is one of the many pleasures of being an ultra-nerd. As such "»

Ebayer Selling Clown Fear, Dry Humping

I really wish we had found this before the listing was closed, but Mark sent it to me last night and I couldn't think of anyone who would enjoy it more than you sick bastards.

The name of the listing on Ebay was "EXPERIENCE YOUR FEAR OF CLOWNS !!!!!!!@"

Confounding punctuation aside, I figured this was too good to be true so I kept reading. I was already thinking of calling the police after looking at that picture to the left... then I read on and decided the person who won is probably already dead anyway so, no big whoop. Here's the actual listing:

South By Southwest Genre Entries

South By Southwest (or SXSW if you're a cool kid) is a yearly "music, film and interactive festival" held in Austin, Texas.

"In its 22 years, SXSW has grown from a tiny music festival in the Texas capital into a massive, unavoidable media beast that reflects, discusses and showcases trends in culture and media but also often creates them."

- National Post, 3/13/08

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 18th, 2009

Warner Bro's has shifted the release date of Richard Kelly's "The Box" once again, back a few weeks to November 25th, 2009. Guess they're really trying to find the perfect date for it, and if I had to guess why, I'd say it's because they're not very confident. Still, it's hard to judge because Kelly's first film Donnie Darko went through a lot of this same crap before being dumped into theaters, and that turned into a decent little cult classic.

Even Eliza Dushku seems to suggest that this horror film she's in "Open Graves" won't be very good, but hey, at least she got to spend three months on Spain, right? Plus, there appears to be some kind of bikini/beach subplot based on the photos, and there's nothing wrong with that.

BD has the exclusive first poster for "The Crazies" remake, which of course is sourced from the George Romero classic about a small town besieged by government agents and chaos. Release date, September 25th, 2009.

Rumor Control: Cary Elwes will not be returning for "Saw VI". I know you were all really concerned.

Wes Craven himself confirms that talks with Dimension have picked back up on "Scream 4", but that he's not 100% committed yet. Kevin Williamson is currently banging out a script, and Craven is waiting to see how it turns out before signing on. According to him, "when he's done we'll see what he has".

9 minute clip from "Red Sands", the supernatural war-themed horror film, released on DVD next Tuesday.

In Real People News: 

A Muslim man decapitated his wife last week in Orchard Park NY, and that's not even the interesting part. What's that you ask? Well he did it in the offices of the TV station they started TOGETHER, in order to dispel Muslim stereotypes. Hmmm... might want to call that one a wash. Also, it's the first murder in Orchard Park since 1986, which I find incredulous considering that's where the Buffalo Bill's play, and I would think they've sucked enough in the last 20 years to have inspired at least 1 drunken fan homicide.

Here's a really detailed and disgusting description of the human body part market in Lagos, complete with picture of severed legs in a bowl. You've been warned.

6 pound rat with 12 inch tail caught in China. Good thing he caught it before it grew to be 7 feet tall. Hey, I've seen "TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze", I know how this shit works.

I had no idea that there was a mystery about where Geronimo's bones are, and that allegedly the Skull and Bones Fraternity at Yale has his skull on display as a "trophy". Holy Christ those guys are terrifying. Not familiar with Skull & Bones? Check the Wikipedia, then hide under your bed because they're watching you.

On this day in history: 

1998: Lt. Col. Larry Wayne Harris (Aryan Nations) and William Leavitt are arrested in Henderson, NV for possession of the biological toxin anthrax, military grade, enough to kill an entire city. Their Mercedes is hermetically sealed by authorities and brought to Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada for hazmat.

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